ice skates

Sometimes you gotta fly.....(or manage to not fall flat on your ass....)


(photo courtesy of Thomas Laukat)

 

Tonight, as I write this, I'm riding a high. After weeks of feeling 'out of sorts' and far removed from my dieting routine, today was the day that got me over myself and whatever was holding me in a state of chaos. And chaos it has been because I didn't feel like eating right, didn't feel like dieting and I sure as hell didn't even want to say the word "gym." I have been in a funk, for sure.

 

In my last post:

 

Crickets, Childhood Baggage and Ruts.... (It sort of makes sense...) (publish0x.com)

 

I had an epiphany about the doctor's news that I needed to lose 15 more pounds to not be considered 'overweight' by CDC standards.  That news brought up the voice from my childhood that always whispered: "what you did is not enough." Unfortunately, I fell prey to that little liar, chose to believe that voice and let myself become depressed and angry about it. It's been ugly. 

 

Because I needed a reason to feel this way, I decided part of the problem had to do with my husband (oh the river denial is such a tempting ride...)

 

He was doing what he normally does.  Gets up between 8:00 and 9:00 am, eats, putters around on his laptop or the computer in our office, and then goes to the gym in the middle of the day (sometimes I go with him). Then he comes home, putters in the garage doing manly stuff while he's all gross from the gym, showers and then putters on the computer in our office doing more stuff until dinner. This is usually our daily life at home unless we are shopping, bike riding, or travelling. 

 

I'm not a fan of going to the gym mid-day. I get up anywhere from 5:30 am to 7:00 am. I would like to get the gym out of the way early so the whole day is free to do whatever (go by myself you say???? Oh no I can't possibly do that....) Since we've been home, I've let myself believe I can't plan an outing during the day because of his need to be at the gym daily. I focused on that and turned it into a 'discussion' we had to have (yes, I'm being polite).

 

He listened patiently to my mini tirade (I'm so freaking lucky) and explained that he's always up to do stuff and has never said "I can't do that because I have to go to the gym.  I'm the one who put 'gym pressure' on the situation, not him.

 

Anyone who has been in any type of committed, romantic relationship knows that there are always compromises. If there isn't, then something is wrong because every relationship involves give and take. My husband and I have been together since 1984, have raised two children, and have moved to different parts of the country three different times. Additionally, because we have wallpapered a room together and remained married, I feel like I have some wisdom to impart on the subject of relationships. 

 

I needed to remember that this is his retirement, too. If he wants to sleep in, after 30 years of daily commutes to an IT job that eventually burned him out, then he should be able to sleep in and go to the gym when he wants.  If you have not had to compromise something in your relationship, consider this your wake-up call to check in with your partner to be sure that all the compromising isn't one-sided. It can't always be about us....

 

I grabbed onto this mid-day gym situation as something to be unhappy about and made it conflict. I needed a 'cover' reason to be unhappy because at the time, I really didn't know what was bothering me and grabbed onto something annoying. The whole time I was angry and upset, I had to battle my need to grab a bag of anything in our pantry and start munching. I did grab something a few times, but managed to take food out of the bag, rather than drag the bag with me to the sofa. This was so unlike the person I have become these past months. My need to grab and munch really discouraged me. I began to second guess whether I could actually maintain the 70 pounds I lost and worried that I'd be back to 245 pounds this time next year. It was very sobering.

 

So, what has changed? 

 

I decided to do something fun....

 

I was born and raised in New England. I love all seasons. I love winter sports. I would go sledding, ice skating and use my allowance to put gas in our snowmobiles (they call them sleds now) and drive them all over the place. I eventually learned how to ski, too. My husband, however, was born in the mid-west and moved to the tropics when he was three, and stayed until he went to college. He hates cold. I do not. He is never going to embrace the cold, snow and ice, so his favorite cold climate winter activity is curling up in front of a woodstove or fireplace with a book waiting for us insane people to come in from the cold. 

 

I'd been toying with the idea of going to the closest ice rink to go ice skating for some time. I got as far as finding my skates in the garage, ordering skate guards and a skate sharpener on Amazon. I even announced at our family Thanksgiving that I was going to go ice skating the next week.  My sister-in-law chimed in that she had never tried it and wanted to go.  

 

I was a little nervous because I've skated one time in the last twenty years, three years ago, when my daughter visited us at Christmas one year and wanted to go to the local ice rink.  I fell then and bruised my knee so bad it took weeks to heal.  I was also 70 pounds heavier.  I was nervous, because I wasn't sure how good that skate sharpener was. I was worried that it was making my skates duller, not shaper, and I wouldn't be able to skate properly and keep my balance and would fall and hurt myself. I also hoped I wasn't going to be my sister-in-law's skating aide the whole time we were there. 

 

The day before my trip to the rink, I worked on sharpening my skates, a lot. I dug out the knee pads I bought at the big box hardware store (If you need to crawl on a hard floor to reach in low cabinets or under sinks, I highly recommend getting knee pads.) I found some gloves and figured out what I was going to wear to skate. I checked the rink's website several times to be sure I had the correct time for public skate (it was at a weird time -1:30 to 3:00 pm on a random weekday) and made sure I knew how much it cost. Can you tell I was excited and anxious?

 

That one and a half hours of ice skating exceeded all my expectations. Six people, including us, were there for public skate. That was incredible. We had a wide-open rink the whole time. My sister-in-law was content to glide along next to the rail the whole time without me (she did really well for a first-timer). I was able to get my skate legs back pretty quickly and skate fast enough that I felt that euphoric sense of flying. I feel the same way when I ski (haven't done that in 35 years, either).  I wore my knee pads, which ensured that I didn't fall (you only fall if you don't have them on ha ha).

 

That euphoric feeling was just what I needed most to get me out of my funk. It reminded me that I needed to do things I loved, for the sake of my mental health, and that it was okay that my husband didn't want to do some of them with me. I skated for almost an hour and a half, took some video and selfies with my sister-in-law and had a great time flying around the ice, getting my confidence back on skates, cautiously trying a few things like skating backwards. When I was done, I felt excited and energized, even though my ankles and back were tired.  I couldn't wait to do it again.  It was a great workout (Map My Fitness says 700+ calories ha ha). I was so excited about how well it went that I decided to leave my skates at the pro shop on site to be professionally cleaned and sharpened, and I plan to go back and skate again next week. 

 

The joy of doing something I love is what shook me out of my funk. I made myself a priority and did something totally for me. Something that I love.

 

Quite simply, I took care of myself. 

 

During the holiday season, it's so easy to get caught up in the doing for family and friends that our emotional tank empties rather quickly. I think my tank had been leaking since we got back from camp. It finally emptied completely and stayed that way because I neglected to fill it up the way I should.  I'm going to try to not let that happen again.

 

Please take the time this holiday season to care for yourself in a way that energizes you and makes you feel good. Your friends and family will thank you for it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7th Decade Redhead
7th Decade Redhead

I'm 60+ years old female retiree who is finally figuring out why she's been struggling with losing weight her whole life. I want to share the lessons I learned so others can help themselves with their own weight loss struggles earlier in their lives.


60 Pounds by 60 Years
60 Pounds by 60 Years

My final weight loss attempt after 40 years of different diet failures. No shakes, no supplements, no surgery, no crazy food, no purchased meal plans, no fasting. Creating a healthier relationship with food and facing the painful truth about my relationship surrounding food. No BS, just common sense. And it worked.

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