tl;dr: when what you find meaning in isn’t in alignment with what you are doing
I wonder how much emotional pain comes to people from the fact that there are parts of our days and lives that don’t really line up with the things that gives us meaning.
100% meaning alignment seems ridiculous. I’m not sure how much meaning you have to get from paying the fare on the subway. On the other hand, maybe it’s not. Perhaps it gives you meaning to recognize how interconnected you are with other individuals and the act of paying a ticket causes you to reflect on all of the people, from the people who designed, built, and installed the machine to the people who work at Apple Pay who make it possible for you to use your phone to complete the transaction.
Still, as humans, I suppose there’s some amount of misalignment we can all tolerate. But as the places where the misalignment occurs increases in quantity and frequency, I wonder if it becomes increasingly difficult to feel “at peace” or “whole?”
Then, I guess, there are a few stages (and I’m sure I’m not doing any original research here) that seem necessary.
-having an awareness of the existence of the feeling of misalignment
-identifying the source of the feeling of misalignment
-deciding if the misalignment is likely to be short- or long-lasting
-deciding if you can/want to live with the misalignment
-resolving the misalignment, either through small or big changes
I suppose there’s an avenue where you can both accept the misalignment so it doesn’t give you emotional pain while simultaneously resolving to do something about it. Or you can accept the misalignment and just continue doing what you are doing. My hypothesis is that the last avenue only works if the resolution actually provides meaning.
When all is said and done, as we get older (or at least I do), I find myself more conscious of the fact that I want to spend my time, effort, and energy on the things that give me meaning and, being the optimizer that I am, the most time on the things that give me the most meaning.
Maybe that’s not the way to do it, but it’s how I am thinking about things right now.
