Someone once said that every book starts with somebody/something coming or going, so where to start my “Dating Chronicles”?

I guess, I have to start with the beginning as boring as it sounds, but here we go ... it all started with a rape ... and later a divorce.

Did I get your attention? ;-) 

Good, I was also trying for that approach, but it is true. For me, my sexual experiences started with a rape at 14. Or rather a date-rape, but that is not what we called it in back in the late 80’s. There it was just called “it was probably your own fault”.

I will get back to that later, but what is important here is that I was date-raped and physically very closed. No one could get near me, and as teenage boys go … they don’t tend to be very patient. Except my future husband, who was sweet and tender and patient, and I fell absolutely in love with him.

I have to put in a disclaimer before we move on. I need to state here that I live in Denmark, Europe. Our view of sex and sexuality is very liberal and not very puritanical, so if you are faint of heart, shy or easily get offended, you probably shouldn’t read the dating chronicles. I will try to keep it relatively sober; the dirty details are up to your imagination. ;-)

He (the ex husband) opened me somewhat up (physically), and we eventually got married, had a daughter and spent 29 good years together. We had a good marriage, and the divorce was actually really peaceful, and we still help each other out from times to times. But in the end at our marriage, we were more friends than lovers.

And the sex was never really that exciting. It was nice, and we loved each other, but I never saw moons and stars flashing for my eyes, and for the last couple of years, my libido was non-existent, and I gave him a free-pass to do what he want otherwise. As long as it was discrete, and I didn’t know about any of it.

But of course, this couldn’t last, and some time after the free-pass, we resigned and got divorced.

I really enjoyed my freedom, my independence and wasn’t at all sad the marriage was over. I missed my best friend many times, and was of course sorry to have broken up our home for our daughter, but I was just fine being myself for once in my life. My ex-husband moved on really fast, and found a new girlfriend after just a few months. I was (and am) very happy for him, because he isn't the type of person who is able to be alone for long, and I hope they have a wonderful marriage, with all the amazing sex, that I wasn’t able to give him at that point.

The first one and a half year I was just there for my daughter, sold and bought a house, got us familiarized with the new family constellations and found a new stability. But some day I just realized I missed someone to cuddle into, to go to restaurants and see movies with and just missed som excitement in my life, and I started to wonder if I should get a dating profile.

But … the sex thing … I was afraid that I was back just where I started. That I would be tightened up, and wouldn’t enjoy it at all, and I figured that an a-sexual profile wouldn’t be a big hit. And besides … I was 46, not to the thin side and relatively normal in appearance. Who would want that??

But in the end … I did it.

What the h***, what was the worst that could happen?

Are you ready to find out? It includes tales of among other things hospitalization, navy seals and magicians. Not kidding.

I hope you will continue the journey with me into the dating world as a middle-aged woman …

And if you have some fun experiences yourself, let me know in the comments.