All you need to know to behave as a proper CEO

How to behave like a CEO: Crash course - MUST READ

By Quick silver | The CEO academy | 11 Sep 2021


Congrats! You just became a CEO! Now, you need to learn to behave like one!

  • You are a visionary! You have a vision, now make it your mission to express it as vaguely as you can… after all, your vision might not be entirely clear for you, but you have people whose job is to read your mind and make your wishes happen.
  • You know it all! You know everything better than anyone and everyone in your team. You don’t have much time so you keep yourself up to date listening to book summaries on InstaRead, Blinkist, storyShots and the like… only slaves read real books!
  • Say you want to empower people. We all know you just don’t really know how to get things done, and you couldn’t give clear instructions on how to get things done, so just that’s why you need highly-skilled, motivated people with mind-reading powers. They might figure it out.
  • Always give feedback... at the very last minute! Those slaves of yours have it almost all figured it out. That is DANGEROUS! You need to intervene! There might be something you dislike, that thing cannot go live! It is your job to disrupt, to make them re-do everything. Without endless iterations, those slaves’ self-esteem your rise… and they would ask for a pay raise. 
  • Self-esteem is key! Yours has to sky-rocket. And you need to make sure your slaves’ self-esteem remains low. You can achieve this, keep an eye open, learn from other CEOs. Some of the most effective tactics include; 
    • Never accept responsibility for any mistake. Whatever happened, they have misread your mind, is their fault! It is your DUTY to make it clear!
    • Call employees out in public! Everyone needs to learn from each other’s mistakes! You are doing a public service here.
    • Set impossible goals and tie incentives to achieving those goals. Careful, they might eventually reach one of those… then you will need to act fast and change the target. No way you are going to pay the incentives you promised! Than is a NO GO!
    • Threaten their jobs. Have open applications, so no one feels so safe there. They need to understand that if a more skilled and less ambitious slave applies, they might be out of a job. With this Corona crisis, you can hire very cheap slaves anyway.
    • Never give clear instructions, yet, MICROMANAGE in the most disruptive possible way.
  • You are inspired by the best. Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Kim Jong-un, and all other emerging contemporary tyrants are you heroes! You admire how they squeeze people and make them accomplish their visions.

We have touched the basics here, now, go out there, focus on your vision and on finding slaves with mind-reading powers that will make your company shine so you finally get the spotlight you deserve.

How do you rate this article?


4

2

Quick silver
Quick silver

Cathartic writing. Letting it all out. Life is too sad to be serious.


The CEO academy
The CEO academy

Your guide to real power. Not everyone was born a psychopath or raised (or spoiled) to become an asshole. You can also learn it. Here you will find the guidance you need to be an effective CEO.

Send a $0.01 microtip in crypto to the author, and earn yourself as you read!

20% to author / 80% to me.
We pay the tips from our rewards pool.