There was a mail delivery job opening that read:

"Postal Worker position available.  We are looking for an experienced driver that speaks English and is good with numbers.  We also do drug testing."

I prepared for the job, called to apply for the position and was invited for an in-person interview the following week.

The interview appeared to go well and they would call me back with results.

When I got the call they told me I was NOT accepted for the position.  I was surprised and asked:

"Why was I rejected?  I learned how to speak English before calling to apply for the job.

After we agreed to the in-person interview, I spent the week learning to drive and set lap times close to NASCAR world records.

I learned, Algebra, Calculus and some Trigonometry too, just in case.

Didn't the interview go well?"

To which the response was

"Yes, the interview went very well and we expected to hire you but you failed the drug test."

I was shocked to hear this and said:

"I learned about drugs TOO by doing it all wasted on every type of drug I could find, and YOU NEVER EVEN ASKED ME A QUESTION."

I hung up frustrated.

Next time, I'll find an EMPLOYER that can speak English.  ;D :D