"Ok. Let's get the next caller. That's Jerome from Inglewood. Jerome, you're on Tom Linquist show."

"Hey, Tom, how're ya doing?"

"Doing great."

"Tom, I wanna tell ya. Love your show. I think you're the best."

"Thanks, Jerome. Appreciate that. What's up?"

"Tom I need a piece of advice."

"OK."

"I've got into a relationship with that girl…"

"Jerome, how old are you?"

"Twenty-five."

"How in the hell you ended up in a relationship? If you were listening to my show as you said you were, I always say: "Don't get into the relationship. Just bang her a couple of times and move on."

"Yes, Tom, I know. And that's generally how I approach this. But this time though it was different."

"How different? Was she dynamite in bed or som'n?"

"Worse. She turned out to be the daughter of my boss."

Tom whistled.

"Oh boy, Jerome, that's a toughy. Does she know that?"

"Not yet."

"What about your boss?"

"I don't think so."

"You didn't get her pregnant or anything?"

"Oh, no, no. I use condoms religiously."

"Jerome, you're a good man."

Then transcending Jerome's case Tom pontificated, "I said that and I will say that again if she tells you, she's on the pill or she's got a spiral, or she's got her period, or whatever - don't trust her. Always use the condom and not her's. She might puncture it. At the moment when you'd need it you won't have a chance to check. Remember she might get herself pregnant with your sperm and make you pay!" Then returning to Jerome's case Tom continued, "Now Jerome, are you a company man? Meaning can you get another job?"

"Yes, I guess so."

"Then do it. This is the cleanest way. Then as soon as you get the written offer  - dump her."

"Thanks, Tom."

"You're welcome. Ok, who's the next caller? That would be Rochelle from North Hollywood. Rochelle, welcome to Tom Linquist show."

"Oh, hi Tom."

"Hi Rochelle, what's up".

"Tom I want to say that I am listening to your show and I agree mostly with what you say about women."

"With what? With the fact that most of them are bitches and should be treated accordingly? Of course, how can anybody dispute that?"

"Well, I just want to say that not all of them are bitches."

"I never said that all of them were bitches. Is that what you call was about?"

"No, I actually have a question."

"OK, fire up".

"I have a boyfriend."

"A boyfriend. How did I know?"

"Yeah. And I like, like him a lot. He is really hot, you know."

"Good. So, he's hot. What's a problem then?"

"He's hot, but…"

"But what?"

"But I don't get anything out of it. I mean sexually…"

"What, he doesn't sleep with you?"

"He does. It just that I don't get anything out of it."

"Oh, so he stinks in bed. Then you know already my answer. Dump him, no question about it. Find yourself someone else."

"Yes, but I really, really like him. He's good in everything else. And he's really hot too. Really!"

"Ok, Rochelle. You know when you go to the movies and order this big bucket of popcorn for eight bucks. Ever done that?"

"Yeah. Do this all the time."

"Well, doesn't popcorn look attractive at first? Looks good, smells good. And so you buy it, right?"

"Yeah."

"But then later you realize that it's soggy and doesn't taste that good. OK. Then what do you do? You dump it, right?

Rochelle pauses.

"Right? I can't hear you, Rochelle. Stay with me."

"Yeah, but…"

"There is no "ifs" or "buts". It's the same thing. Am I making sense?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"So you're gonna dump him right?"

"I'll try. Thanks for the advice, Tom."

"No Problems." Rochelle hangs up. Tom continues.

"Next caller is Skip from Long Beach."

"Hi Tom, how's it going?"

"Fine, fine, what's up?"

"You know I am following your show and am following all your advice, but I still cannot close the deal."

"How so?"

"You see, I am just too nice. That's my problem. How could I be meaner? How can I close the deal?"

"Well Skip, you close the deal by being unpredictable, by being unreliable. Just keep on pressing the issue and you get there. No, Mr. Nice Guy. No flowers and all this crap. This would never take you anywhere. Chicks would just use you."

"Thanks, Tom, for the reassurance. I'll do that"

"You're welcome. Ok, the next caller. It's Chris from Pasadena. Chris, you're on Tom Linquist show."

"Good evening, Tom."

"Good evening Chris. What's up?"

"I am watching your program Tom and let me tell you, you're such a loser."

"Hm.. looser, me? Hahahahaha…" Tom laughs a bit theatrically. "Well, let's see. I have the hottest show in town, a six figures yearly income, drive a sexy sports car, have a mansion on the beach and am banging eighteen-twenty-year-old girls you wouldn't believe. Does this spell looser for you?"

Tom stopped for a short instance giving the opportunity to his words to sink into the minds of listeners and continued

"Looser, How so?"

"You are now are forty-something, right? You have no family, you've been divorced three times and look what you do, you're teaching young people to do some of the most immoral and reprehensible things."

"Hold on man. Are you one of those church activists or som'n?

"In a way. I do volunteer work with the Down syndrome children."

"I thought so. Well, let me tell you, Pal. I am talking about things that people want to hear. That's why I have the highest ratings. I am teaching them real-life stuff."

"You still are a loser. You know you are."

"Ok, Chris. Is that all you wanted to say?"

"I think you should use your popularity to teach people good, moral things."

"Chris, Chris. Wake up and smell the roses! If I talk about this stuff, who in the World is gonna listen to me? I am gonna lose my ratings. Goodbye Chris."

The connection terminated and Tom continued.

"We're gonna have a commercial break. Don't go away. This is Tom Linquist's show!"

Tom's words were succeeded by an audible click and the air was instantly filled with the voice. This base tonality of the voice was difficult to pinpoint because it seemed as if it comprised several octaves at the same time.

As soon as Tom heard the first words of "commercial" he jumped off his chair and ran to the producer's booth.

"Hey, Mike. What the hell did you just do? It was supposed to be a Nike commercial."

"I don't know what happened, Tom", Mike lifted his hands in bewilderment. "We were putting Nike commercial. Som'n got locked up. We are working on it."

"What do you mean, som'n got locked up? You are gonna mess up all my ratings. Get this crap off the air!"

The voice started calmly as if reading a narrative, but then it rose in amplitude and expressiveness and ended up with the chilling seriousness.

"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

As soon as the tirade was completed, it was followed by the same audible click and the Nike commercial continued.