I was looking for Rorschach's Journal entries from Watchmen when I came across this quote on Good Reads:

“The past can't hurt you anymore, not unless you let it.”
 — Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

That's easier said/typed than applied, especially if one has suffered trauma or been abused/assaulted. As the title of a book on the subject goes, The Body Keeps the Score. Much of life's problems come from holding onto past events and attitudes. There's even a name for that: Transference. It's the process of transferring a world view from one age bracket/life stage to the next (such as from childhood to adolescence or from adolescence to adulthood). A typical example is distrust of authority.

Life would certainly be a lot easier if we could learn to let go of abuses, betrayals, injustices, lies and traumas inflicted upon us in the past. However, we cling to the past as if it defines who we are. We shouldn't, because it doesn't. It is us who should define who we are, not circumstances, what happens to us.

I wish to get to the point where I can let go of the hurt and grudges I carry, so that I can live a fuller and happier life, but I don't think I ever will. I'm scared that if I do, I'll have nothing left by which to define myself, since it's a large part of my life and how I define my identity. Maybe that's just a lie I tell myself, but it's what I believe.