I understand we handle hurts differently but one thing I know we all have in common is that we all need to heal. We heal differently and as shocking as it might sound, some take a shorter time to heal which would make you doubt if they were ever in love in the first place and for others, it might take longer and this can make them doubt if love ever existed.

A lot of people had their hearts broken by those they least expected it from. They have invested too much of their time and energy, resources even and loyalty only to have it shoved right back in their face. It's a terrible feeling because it makes you doubt yourself - your choices and your sense of worth. You lose value for most things because you have this laid back attitude that things might not work quite as you had hoped. This has made a lot of people shy back from giving their heart to things, even mere friendship because they see it as a waste of time since their efforts won't be appreciated, they'd say.

Love is a powerful thing and many people have used it as a weapon too but it doesn't mean that love is cruel. Anything we do in the name of another thing is our responsibility. A man who is in love, shows affection to his partner, that's who he is but someone who acts the opposite, that's who he is as well.

We seem to take the focus off the person who hurt us and generally assumes that love is at fault. Everything in life goes through a process and the hurt you are feeling as well would have to go through a process. It might take others years and others months, but one thing should be true, we should never close the door to our heart and throw the key away. You can close it temporarily until you are sure of who you want to let in but don't ever close your heart to true love because it would still find you but you have to heal first.

Most people try to force relationships when they haven't healed. They want to use another human as a body shield so they can get over their hurts but it's only going to be temporary because they would soon see that the hurt goes deeper than they thought. It's more obvious because who you are with would see your lack of effort and commitment to the relationship and that's because you haven't healed.

Not healing yet means you would hold back, judge everything, assume everything and you might even invent scenarios that never existed in your head because the events of your last heartbreak are still playing in your mind. Stop forcing things and allow your heart to heal first. You will know you haven't healed fully when you can't talk about your ex without resentment.

You will know you haven't moved on when you are holding back and walking on eggshells over something another person hasn't even done. It doesn't mean you don't have to evaluate situations but you have to judge every person based on what they have done and not based on what you think they might do. You can address situations ahead of time but you don't use past situations to judge those who knew nothing about it.

Healing is a process...take your time. There is no attendance to be marked, stop yielding to pressure. Allow time to naturally heal you...for as long as it takes.

This post also appeared here and it's my original work on my blog on [Read.Cash](https://read.cash/@Olasquare/healing-is-a-process-6e8d3578).

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.

Still me,

My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.

Olawalium; (Love's chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor's order.