01 - 

It’s always the same farmer who brings in the most milk for the cheese factory.

Yet everyone in the village knows that this farmer only has a few cows.
So how does he do it?

Puzzled, the other farmers decide to ask him the question:
- But how do you manage to get so much milk with so few cows? What's your thing?
- Oh ! It's very simple ...
- I knew it ! You use special products.
- No… where are you going to get these ideas. Special products for cows, but no!
- Then how ?
- Well it's simple, in the morning when I go to milk my cows, to motivate them I always ask them the same question: "So my little ones! This morning what are you giving me? Milk or steak? "

02 -

After a heart attack a man undergoes open heart surgery.

He wakes up after the operation and is treated by nuns in a Catholic hospital.

As he regains his senses, a nun asks him how he was going to pay for his care. She asks him if he has health insurance.
He replied in a still weak voice: “No health insurance. "

She asks him, "Do you have any money in the bank? "
He replies, “No money in the bank. "

She continues, “Do you have a family member who can help you? "
He said, “I only have one sister, an old maid, who is a nun in a convent. "

The sister gets angry and tells her: “Nuns are not old daughters, they are married to God! "
And the patient replies: "In that case, send the bill to my brother-in-law." "