Bienvenidos mis ositos, tu siempre eres mis queridos! (Welcome back little bears you are always my dears!)

As the weeks drag on I’m reminded of how heavy my crypto bags are.

I’m sure yours are too.

There was a time when the crypto part of my portfolio soared like an eagle.

Now it’s a dead albatross around our necks.

I really hate being such a miserly penny pincher. It cramps my dating style.

I used to pinch the rear ends of my gal pals and show them a fun time around town.

Now the ladies know better than to associate with a low life crypto user…

I sorely miss the hefty hangers.

They say that anything more than a handful is a waste.

What nonsense!

I worship the gravity defying duos!

I kiss and caress those opulent orbs that are worth more than their weight in gold.

I replay the good times in my head, when a playful mischievous gal loved pranking me.

She loved sneaking up behind me to bop me on my big fat head with her generous bosom while I was sitting down.

In fact each one was comparable to the size of my head!

Man, those were great times.

But all good times come to an end.

I traded fun bags for crypto bags like a dope!

My days as a generous skirt chaser are over due to my foolish decisions.

Troll’s Granny: You can chase me!

Panda: No thanks, I prefer fun bags above knee level! BWAHAHA

Troll’s Granny: THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!!! I guess someone’s rent just went up 10%!

Panda: Oh no I’m sorry there must be some way to make it up to you!

Publsh0x Troll: Ha ha Panda got penalized for being a big meanie!

Panda: Oh no I have to make ends meet by selling my rear end for meat!

Publsh0x Troll: Ha ha!

Troll’s Granny: No! I have a better idea. There’s going to be an orgy at the retirement home and we need a cameraman…

Panda and Troll:  Aagh!

Both types of bags attract drooling idiots but there are important differences!

Fun bags provide nourishment for babies.

Crypto bags provide built in birth control.

Fun bags are a sight to behold.

Crypto bags can’t even be seen unless you have some crappy NFTs. Even then you’ll get sick of looking at them.

Fun bags energizes me and gives me purpose in life.

Crypto bags saps the life out of me.

This dumb panda went balls deep into the wrong bags!

I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I cashed out earlier.

I would still have my dignity and sanity!

I would have more cash in my pocket to chase busty beauties.

Instead I have online interactions with anonymous creepy weirdoes.

Learn from my mistakes frens!

Obviously none of this is formal financial or tax advice. You need to find qualified professionals in your jurisdiction.

Be sharp, stay hungry let’s get that money!