Cryptofans we love ya! Thanks for carrying coins over the trillion dollar cap line and delivering Bitcoin into the greasy arms of Wall Street. All of y'all holding BTC, break an arm patting yourself on the back now, you shining stars. If holding 2016 bitcoin, our lives must look like a boring post apocalyptic hell compared to yours!
Let's face it, in many ways 2020 was an awful, disgusting, horrid year of nightmares, where lives were crushed while billions were made. COVID killed millions, fifty people have died in riots in the USA, while trust in the process & authority is raped in a third worldly way on every side of every issue, and that nonsense spreads around the world. Many economies right now? Wile E. Coyote at the moment he has JUST fallen off a cliff
but Wile E. has not quite yet realized yet what a long way down it is as he runs suspended in space for a moment just like the hospitality and hairdressing industries.
But that doesn't leave us without some hilarious moments dear readers! As all those who loved bitcoin well know! so, let's go
#10 - the ledger home address data leak. Do we love security? Do we want to pay extra for hard wallets? Are we gonna get home invaded with a 5$ wrench now?
#9 - Goldman Sachs flip flops on Bitcoin. Remember all the way back in May, 2020, Goldman was all " crypto is not even an asset class." Goldman once issued a crash warning on BTC at 7K ( Crash? guys really?) So they fired and hired and now Goldman loves Bitcoin, the analysts cry Dr. Copper & the commodities market love BTC, they even said bitcoin is a retail inflation hedge that will not harm gold!
Well, that last was a true Goldman lie in a biggie, classic self serving style, any fool with eyes can watch Bitcoin sucking the air out of Gold's room in real time. Why the big flippy flop, Goldman? Anything to do with planning to IPO Coinbase for thirty billion?? With Binance worth more standing in the wings giving you stinkeye? It's a long way to the bottom for your reputation for integrity GS
Which leads us nicely to the #8 funniest crypto of 2020 - GOLD BUGS WERE RIGHT!!! but BTC ate their lunch.
To be clear, we have always loved goldbugs. Yes, those research loving inflation fearing crabby coldest adoring hard asses have been around Wall Street forever, spending money with passion and they are always up for a good argument. Wall Street research analysts have been well paid to travel the world’s gold mining ops for decades.
And let's not even talk about how hot the zoftig secretary at the World Gold Council offices is, floating high above Manhattan. Are we Cryptonauts concerned about regulatory shock? Just remember like the goldbugs do -very freaking recently the US Government declared ownership of gold to be illegal, confiscated it all, then raised the price radically and released it. WTF??? REALLY? ya think maybe someone held some gold in a cold vault under the moonshine still and profited from that action?
But skipping all that fun, for years the gold bugs have trumpeted the death of fiat. Goldbugs chronicled the passing of each vestige of the gold standard, from metal backed currency down to the final closing of the gold window. Though oddly, an enormous amount of central bank clearing is still done in (paper) gold. The goldbugs of yore sound like bitcoiners hating on fiat now. And gold has popped - but it should have mooned !!! The goldbugs were right - eventually (2020) the world figured out noone could stop them from debasing the currency with modern monetary theory ( printing ~30% of M1 in two weeks!!??!!? ) which dooms fiat at some point. But sorry goldies, bitcoin gets the free lunch. OK with us, we don't want to sleep with physical gold in the house since we met the wife and she finally coaxed us out (mostly) from sleeping with a weapon. Is the Ledger hack funny? We always thought anyone who had workers install a home safe is kinda nuts.
Anyway, to add to the hilarity of the goldbugs, for years now they have been stating a scheme where the true price of gold is being held down, games are played with physical delivery, central banks manipulating the derivatives market. Sounds nuts-but right now if you go to the most central, volume market place in London to buy physical gold sold by weight, that price is no longer in synch with the "paper gold" price. Which was supposed to be the point of COMEX in the first place n'est pa? Signs of the apocalypse...
#7 - Dave Ramsey's awful, horrible, no-good take on Bitcoin
For those who don't know, Dave is a radio guy who preaches personal austerity until you can burn your cards, call in live on the air and shout " WE'RE DEBT FREE DAVE!!!" which is pretty cool, good way to make a living in America. But last month Dave took a call from some guy worked in the hotel industry, which has done the COVID faceplant. So our hero is thinking of going back to school for a bit. Years ago on a whim the dude invested 1500$ in BTC, worth at the time of the call about 120K. He wanted to ask Dave if he should go ahead and take some profits since his income would be lower while in school.
Well, Dave was a complete dick. The correct answer was yes, if in a low tax state, long term cap gains (one year) on income under 40k is ~zero. Plan your hodl breaking residency kids, consider Wyoming, book and manage cap gains in a low income year. Dave's answer? He claimed the kid would not be able to take out the money, that it was all a sham.
Dave said it was fraud and anyway it was a horrible thing if the kid had made money like that it would ruin him for life. Worse yet, Dave has a giant black dude sidekick on the show, echoing every statement Dave makes like Clarence Clemons for Springsteen, saying crypto is dark and ponzi schemey, kicking the kid around as the duo got all elitist and all snotty about "sunk cost analysis." Dave and his pal ack shu ally misused the phrase, claiming that wall street looks at letting an investment ride overnight in terms of sunk cost analysis. Proper sunk cost analysis is a great tool, often very contrary to human intuition. It is extremely useful when you have spent gobs of money on a project that has gone straight to hell. Human nature says " we just spent 1MM on this, let's spend 100K more" even when the answer is clearly "50K spent a different way will get us there now, the old project is long dead and smells bad.” We have never heard SCA applied to stock picking, even the good old double down texas hedge has zero to do with sunk costs. "If y'all liked it at 100, you'll love it at 50" or even "we liked Tesla last year and we love it now" ain't about SCA.
Anyway, skipping our pedantic complaints, of course there is about a 1 in 100 chance that Dave is right, that the kid bought on a shaky exchange or wallet, or might get malware or socially hacked on the offramp. But there is still 100% chance Dave is an assaholic symbol of the old world, e.g. banks denying your transfers to Coinbase. Did the kid sell? we dunno but since that was around late December, if he sold Dave should eat a whole bag of dicks. Bitcoin ripped from 20K to 30K in about ten days and never looked back below 30K.
#6 - Warren Buffet - BTC flipped the value of all Berkshire Hathaway's cheap ass cheeseburger and cherry coke stocks. In a year when everyone wasted time and kissed Warren's butt. Justin Sun spent millions at a charity auction and was disciplined by the CCP ( talk about scary, anyone seen Jack Ma lately? ) just to buy Warren lunch and give him a bitcoin. Justin, we hope you saved the address and stole it back with some TRON malware. Yeah, Warren, Bitcoin is rat poison, it's a rat trap and you been caught. The wizard has no clothes. And his fund is the lesser for it.
hypocrisy of the regulators, the fade of the fiat top ten, the rise of DEX madness, Tune in soon to hear the final five funniest moments in crypto, give us a tip / like. Spoiler, #1 is still goldbug related. What do y'all think was the funniest?