Cryptofans we love you, thanks for changing the world in the only way that's taking any power at all away from the central governments.
Harvest Finance, it's a wonderful tool for agricultural schools. Wait, it's a yield farm of yield farms token experiment. Nah, it's yet again software eating the world, chomping to the top of defi crypto lockups. Erm, it's the revenge of the hip nerds, pushing the borders of fintech back yet again, and then it's Miller time for sex drugs n rock n roll.
Got wrecked in the early hack? take some FARM and climb back in the saddle. The future belongs to those with the chadly cojones to grab it.
Tokenomics killing me, tokenomics helping you? Our Atomic Wallet coin sort of did the pump n dump, trying to teach us that same old lesson. Plus our Atomic Wallet kinda chit the bed, maybe a fake upgrade, showing boatloads of pending TRON transactions leaving a wallet that never had TRON in it... since they didn't take the RUNE coin who cares. yeah yeah yeah the AWC staking keeps going up on meh coins, meh.... Meanwhile our Thor RUNE coins never could get staked into the RUNEVAULT from Atomic Wallet, or from any iOS wallet, thanks Apple you powermad bastards.
But did we earn our lesson? Hell no. We are asking you once again to join us as we buy and stake some tokens that will give mystery interest while maybe tanking or soaring. The Fund of Funds business model of Yield Harvest FARM is miles above AWC's dex in a wallet plot. And AWC in turn is miles above the use case of RUNE (which is build a better Polkadot, or something, RUNE just seems like a fly on the highway waiting for the windshield of ETH 2.0 to smash RUNE's ass.)
OK loyal readers (and you chicom haters we offended downvoting every time - don't worry we still love you too) will recall the Wall Street chestnut - yield farming is gathering nickels in front of a giant steamroller - low paying, boring work that one fateful day heats up, inverts the yield curve and crushes tripping farmers like bugs into the steaming tarmac. But Harvest Yield is a fund of farmers! Yep a few of those poor green frogs get crushed, the rest will hop on over the road to the cool pond and spew 30% of those sweet tadpoles of profit back into the fund.
The truth, if we can handle it - the dystopian future has already arrived, and it is doubling down every year. Don't believe it? consider Erik Finman. His grandma gave the young lad $1,000 in 2012, his brother told him to stash it in Bitcoin, turned to 100k, used that to buy 300 bitcoins = millions. Or Olaf Wee, the first employee at Coinbase, who took his wee salary in Bitcoins, now running a hedge fund with nine figures AUM when last checked some time ago. Compared to these, and many others we know, and more still no one knows ( early silk roaders god knows your stories - was it hard to cash out all those dark net market bitcoins? DO YA STILL HAVE EM?? ) --- anyway we guarantee their current realities make our lives look like the trailer trash homes the kid from "Ready Player One" was living in. We bet Bitcoin Jesus had a much nicer lunch than Warren Buffett's flyover state cheeseburger and metallic tasting diet dr. Pepper.
Y'know, in all seriousness, only comic books ever even slightly prepared our brain for what happened when the world trade towers burned for months in lower manhattan. In a corporate hunger games reality show, we lived only because we earned a work trip to London, therefore skipping our monthly industry meeting in 2 WTC, where everyone, including the sales guys who took our spot, perished. So maybe only wildly optimistic paradigm shifts and insane leaps of faith, with counterculture meme shitposting, can take us to the next life of utopian mind and money progress. Andre Anton Oppouloosusia - you know the thing - said we are not yet into the early adoption phase, we are still in the hallucinatory lunatic fringe pioneer phase ( Wall street tech hoary aphorism #2,339 - what do pioneers usually get? face down in the mud with arrows in their back.) Let us pray to defi of defi. Or to St. Olaf Wee, his own chad self, that name just sounds like it has a yellow triangle of hair attached.
But hey, cynical, satirical jaded pals of the mighty Publish0x - we promised a full bullshit detector hairy stinkeye for Harvest. OK, they need more audits. They are anonymous, which could be good news (are they secretly high powered and famous?) or bad news ( Ylang Ylang's sister?) They are pretty damned centralized and could do a rug pull exit scam, since they can't be arsed to give up the command keys to a boring slow moving committee of posturing community karma whores, or so they say in a much nicer way. Harvest did just implement a 12 hour timelock, if one is smart enough to read the new code and flee, that's an option, little wild wild west but hey it's an option. Harvest Yield got hacked and paid back the hack - though some folks are still whining about losing funds in the first hack. Mostly the people that put in USDT, expecting an obscene ~25.00% API yield on boringly safe, futuristically sinister stablecoins, now being given the fun edgy tokens that might actually re-earn the hack losses back. We say feckem, they expected 25% on stablecoins with zero risk? HEY! No crying in hardball! NO gawd dang whining on ski trips, snowflake! Muscle the eff up buttercup!
Rocket powered tractors in space. Robert Heinlein's "Farmer in the Sky." When the stainless steel city is built, there will be a stainless steel mouse. Every drug fueled sci-fi dream of Philip K Dick turned first into Hollywood and later already ~85% into reality. NASA is now powered by Elon Musk, which is actually blowing the little tiny rocket doors off Arieanne's eurostate launch program and creating more traffic jams in geosynchronous orbit. Many fools seriously don't believe Chads drove SUV's around the moon and left them there to rot in the front yard (there goes the neighborHOOD!) after moving back home to Cape Canaveral (but they freaking did.) Not believing- the antithesis of Chad dom.
We have not yet read the new Zero Hedge publish of the "leaked" high net worth client research report from a Citibank MD , giving a 300K target for Bitcoin by 2021 ( based on technical analysis of the massive repeating rallies. ) We do remember dealing with that guy back when he was a Forex Sales MD moving on up into trading, we all sweated moving those damned Reuters Forex Dealing 2000/3000 terminals around with the scary timestamping (needed by law) official printers, many a client facing technologist got zapped for messing up migrations on those bad girls. Forex trading is a very insider cult, filled with arcane jargon ( what volume of cable ya want? ) That MD was an extremely straight laced buttoned down dude, about the furthest from a wild eyed radical prophet we can think of offhand. Guess the comic book plot of Bitcoin got him shifting the paradigm. Or maybe he was always a chad and just never showed it while slinging cable to global clients at work. Hey WE WANNA SEE HIS TEAM'S ANALYSIS OF THE BILLIONS LOCKED IN YIELD FARMING RIGHT FREAKING NOW PLEASE!!!
Chads of the future, we know y'all are here now somewhere, sending out some crazy cosmic jive. For right now, we are gonna get some of those lovely dank FARM tokens so we can stake them and pray they are climbers into an amazing new Jack and the Beanstalk universe.
Peace love and little bitty tiny computers everywhere
Dave
