Crypto people you know we can't help ourselves, we love you. Sugarpie honeybunch. you know what it means to me!! 
The flame burning in our heart, tearing it ALLLL apart. With love for y'all and the mighty mighty Publish0x.
Day seven of the FT Nexo/Vauld hookup blackout, lol!! Free the Antoni news!!!
Non-crypto news relevant to crypto? More admirable reporting on the Wirecard story. Dear readers remember intrepid FT reporters investigated for FIVE YEARS and broke the story of the decade against all odds. For their troubles, official EU (German) regulators threatened jail time for FT reporters, forced into an airless office with no internet for months. TradFi tragicomedy ensued: A Commerzbank analyst (for God's sake) called the FT "criminal shorts" echoed by the lawsuits from Wirecard. Not to mention the bribe attempts for FT to take down the story, etc. Think those FT legal bills made for some interesting performance reviews? Justice triumphed, & Wirecard piffed, taking out TWENTY FOUR BILLION DOLLARS in market cap, PLUS one to FOUR billion in CASH. The first ever DAX company to go bust, hats off and a full standing 21-gun salute to "Dannyboy McCrim" as the wirecard controlled Twitterbots called him!! 
OK what's OUR CRYPTO POINT? The biggest crypto hack EVAH was only what, 600 million, Ronin or Poly? Rookie numbers!! Wirecard dwarfs multiples of those. Yeah, Terra blew 20 Billion in market cap. We don't care, Terra was a straight up, weak, short-lived Ponzi. Wanna go there? Madoff was a real long & strong TradFi Ponzi. Estimates vary, but we know Madoff was sentenced in 2009 to pay back 170 Billion USD. And THAT, girls n boys, is about a QUARTER TRILLION in today's inflated greenbacks. All the tradfi's should calm down, even STFU about crypto hacks, fails & Ponzis.
First up in today's FT crypto crypto- ever so predictable mouthpiece action for EU regs. The EU sez investors should "Learn their lesson!!!"
TL,DR: "Cautionary lesson, risky, no bailout, serious risk" says Verena from the oddly capitalized Esma. Boilerplate crypto bashing. "The global crypto market has fallen by more than 70% in the past year." Repeat of March agitprop, YOU COULD LOSE ALL YOUR MONEY!! Esma is running the Joseph Goebbles / Franz K. on social media to make sure ya know. Esma is doing a "landmark" regulatory banhammer on crypto, rolling out starting in 2023 over 18 months. This will protect us through forced environmental disclosures, plus some consumer protection for "lost crypto wallets." Verena says "important to move quickly' ( YOU MUST ACT NOW!!) to convergence of regs. The EU Central Bank echochambers this.
The Real story:
Ya know what? YEeeeee HAW, move em out!! WE'RE MAD AS HELL & we are not gonna take it anymore. F. U. copypasta losers.
viz "The total crypto market is down 36% in the past year." Y'know, we have this thing called charts now, check em out FT!!
The global crypto market ONE YEAR AGO TODAY, stood at 1.4 trillion USD rounded to two sig digs to make the maths simple for y'all journalist cretins. Tradingview.com shows crypto TODAY, JULY 11 at .89 trillion. Here, let us count on our fingers, nice and slowly so the FT can follow. In billions, 1.4 - 0.89 = 0.51, or half a trillion down in the past year. Half a trillion divided by 1.4 trillion is what, 0.51 divided by 1.4 = 36%. Crypto is down exactly 36% in the last year. 
SAY IT D_MN Y'ALL FT, SAY IT, 36% ! Maybe the FT has a special calculator? Or doesn't understand the phrase, in the past year??
Y'all are lying, it's funny, and we are tired of pretending it's not.
Yeah, we know, 36% doesn't fit the NARRATIVE. (*$&!(@$&!($*&ers!!!!! Oh, OK, TBF we did do a cheezy FT style crop job on that graph so a casual noob not paying attention might believe crypto is up slightly over the last year, we swear this was an accident lol!!
Anyway, truly, TBF FT ya CAN say this: (according to TradingView.com data) over the last year, crypto rocketed from 1.34 trillion to an ATH of 2.9 trillion. That's a "to the moon " rise of 116% over four short months. Since then, total market cap of crypto crashed to .89 trillion today, a drop of over 70%.
Can't say THAT, can ya ya crypto haters !! THAT would be too, what's the word, HONEST? Cause you KNOW the beady lil eyes of the FT readers would catch that whole WTF up 120% in four months part, wouldn't they?? Cause they & everyone knows hmmmm somebody made some coin and stepped out.....and we, the FT readers, are the SMART ones, right??
Sick sick sick o this chit. Here, we will write y'all some weaselly but technically true ways to say it without ACTUALLY lying.
"Crypto has fallen over 70% from its ATH this year." Or, really, if y'all were not such LAZY boilerplate monkeys, take a quick look at a graph and a calendar!! TODAY you could say "Over the past seven months, crypto has fallen over 70% from its ATH." You can even skip the "from its ATH" part if y'all like, we are SURE YOU WILL!!! But it is JUST NOT TRUE that crypto dropped 70% over the past year.
Moving along, everybody freakin knows no bailouts in crypto. Quit pretending anyone CARES. Blue chip cryptos AIN'T GOING TO ZERO.
Oh, man, we will feel so safe once those environmental disclosures are in place. Skipping the private jet carbon footprint of Esma, please be sure to include full disclosure on BTC's competition, the petrodollar. Dear readers know the petrodollar forces all legal trade in oil to be in dollars, courtesy of the US military, the world's single greatest polluter. It's hilarious - even two countries chanting "death to America" have to cough up greenbacks to move oil through legal channels. Also include the carbon footprint of all the big & small banks etc dealing with dollars in the world. The ruble just dented the petrodollar a bit, but given the carbon footprint of WAR, that's no help. Bonus laugher - China's environmental sins are > the next four worst countries in the world, including all the US. But we bet that's OK with Esma cause China banned BTC!! Lol, Hey, what's the carbon footprint of forcing estimations of the carbon footprint??
There's a shred of news in this agitprop, the "consumer protection for wallets." Can't find any details, but 99% sure this is total bullshit. We all know we can fire up a new wallet, stash all our bags in there, lose the keys and ain't a damn thing Verona nor Satoshi nor anyone else can do short of a hard fork, which ain't gonna happen with a respectable crypto. Political cr-p that sounds great, but has to be meaningless. Maybe Esma will force companies to offer insurance for deposits, all the big boys already do. The insurance didn't make a d-mn bit of difference to all the poor souls locked up in Alex the Machine's deathtrap thanks to ubiquitous weasel lawyer work. Or maybe Esma is planning to crush the open source wallet world by requiring those to be insured, whatever. 
Overall, hard to crucify the FT for simply echoing Esma agitprop. Not that hard, though. Judges say 1 FU for the lazy lie copypasta, and one FU for not questioning or commenting on a single echo, for a total of 2 out of 5 FUs!!!!
Extra bonus funny -juxtaposed next to the Esma bash, we see Turks suffering. We mean SUFFERING. True inflation is nearing 100%. In terms of lira vs USD, Turks rode from 0.28 down to 0.058 over five years, with ZERO chance to jump out while up 2x. 
Wahey, that's a 80% loss right there. Going back further looks EVEN worse. BtcTurk was founded almost ten years ago. A Turk who bailed from the Lira for BTC ten years ago would be a VERY rich Turk. But even Turks who abandoned the Lira ship for the bitcoin lifeboat just FIVE years ago would be up ~9x, instead of being down 80%.
Moving on - inflation in US getting even hotter.
A different story- big banks will make EVEN MORE profits as rates rise ( & the people get crushed.)
The Big Read is all about the end of easy money. Stunningly, not a word about crypto. Wearing blinders much, big hoss FT??
BUT WAIT!!! HARK!! IN THE LETTERS SECTION!!! 
A great big giant crypto LOVE LETTER!!!!
David from Tail WInd Advisory in London SKEWERS the Wolf!!
TLDR: Crypto is just another cyclical currency. The bubble came from all the newly printed money. Nasdaq did the same thing in 1983, then tanked in 1984. Lots of stocks died then, but some folks bought Apple and Amgen. Many cryptos will piff, but BTC and ETH WILL survive. Crypto uptake is driven by "disillusion and distrust of established institutions." The search for alternatives MARSHALLED BY US will NOT dissipate. & CBDCs will never beat BTC as they defeat the object!!! 
We are not worthy, David. AND y'all FT letter choosers. Who's David? He ran Tailwind for ten years, going 11x (35% per year) up, crushing Buffet ( who did 4x) and Soros, arguably the best of all time. Really we are not worthy. Zoom in & read the whole thing, we don't think the FT's copyright covers letters all that well. God bless the FT for printing this, sincerely. WHAT a summary, a masterstroke. You will know the lion by the mark of his claw. Oh man, WHAT a payoff. Thank you thank you thank you, big salmon lady!!
OHHHhhhh, we'll do anything ya ask us to. We are weaker than a man should be, we're a fool in love you see.
Peace and love & alternatives from us, not the gummint, and no dang CBDCs,
Dave
