Crypto lovers, thanks for making this home, we love you.  We hope y'all are wriggling away to your favorite music as you smile thru a world that loves you back.  Why?  Cause you, yours, and we are the most important, essential player in the band!  The heart, the lungs, the guts of our pop combo!   Well, every one of y'all except the sax playing dishwasher, but y'all can come along too!! Testifying to love  nightly on Publish0x!!  To drop cybernetic multiverse cryptographic melodies to save the future from fiat, baby.  Full tank, half pack o ciggies. Hit it!! 

TODAY"s FT!!  Let's get edjumicated!!

Spare some love for the pink lady, what a gorgeous newspaper.  It was hard to find pages to burn to light the BBQ. 

Claus Oldenburg kicked.  His stunning outsize sculptures liven up NYC and Vegas.  Seemed slightly soulless to us as he always had others fabricate them.  Turns out his wives did lot of his smaller works for him lol!!

Eurozone goes into contraction, retail down, cost of living up. Chinese starting a hundred companies for soon-to-expire food. Looks like Draghi IS out, don't trust us lol!!!  The Paki Rupee had the worst week in 20 years, looking like Sri Lanka.  Russia CUT their interest rate!!??!? low inflation, improved GDP oh wait hard (gold) money. 

The very reasoned op eds remind us the Euro can never fly on paper, lol.... right now it's stinging like a bee, not floating too good. TLDR: The euro is a bumblebee flying only on political will.  Yesterday's decree puts a floor under "panicking" bond buyers.  States must do reforms to get cash.  Pressure will mount as Euro states shoulder inflationary costs & slowdowns. Bumblebee gonna need more "improvisation" help. 

The REAL story: " Improv" is one way to describe absolute power to  steal from current and future pockets.  Dear readers know anything but market pricing is a lie, a political destruction of price discovery.  It's funny, once you control the markets it's all elitist kabuki theater, socialist / facist regime, actually dictatorial w/ Chris.  Either the law of the market , or it's  just Chris making up numbers with cronies at ubermansions in time to go on vacation.  The shape of the market ain't gonna be "constrained," FT, you mean warped, perverted, falsified.  

Exchanges hum with excitement.  Old, new, or merging markets throb even when slow, something COULD happen and YOU ARE THERE!!!!   We loved ancient teletype rooms, wire service pics and stories piling in,  you could be the first to know! Open outcry  exchanges were a total hoot.  Those floor traders wearing buttons on their odd colored jackets stayed amped up.  They did  lunch at the  overstimulated  Wall Street Deli , wilder than the SNL "cheeseburger cheesburger cheeburger NO COKE PEPSI".    one.    You had to shout your order, the counter guy screamed it louder it to the grill, the grill yelled back and threw your food overhead as fast as possible. We would laugh hard bringing in out of towners.  It all kept  the open outcry floor traders relaxed and loose. 

When we first saw a controlled exchange, brokers half asleep, so boring it was surreal.  Can't remember, Beijing or Shanghai, SO BOOOOOORING.  Real action dictated elsewhere. Even exchanges where the action had gone computerized were still more fun.  TBF it was the 90s, with elites showing off cell phones on the bar with no hope of a signal for miles or years.  The controlled prices scrolling  looked just like the short censored news loop in the hotels, soooooo nothing.   Noone looked.  Welcome to your future, euro bond traders. 

Crypto law: !!!

TLDR: Big dawg lawyers Kirkland get Voyager AND Celsius bankruptcies. Death by powerpoint will never die!!!  It'll just smell that way.  It's all about the initial presentation .

Crypto winter has come.  Account holders want a reorg leaving their accounts, not liquidation. 

Kirkland  has already asked  judges approval for Voyager's relaunch  w/ equity (coins?)  Still stuttering on Celsius, the Goldman boys picking over Alex the Machine's ten figure accounting carcass.  Firms promised big returns, lost deposits,  gated withdrawals, chit the bed & bit the radish. 

The big legal question looking bad for hodlers who thought they had actual accounts.  Surprise, it's 100% equity.  Legal thrills as case law is set for crypto.  balancing against slow trials eating value.  

US bankruptcies run valuation testimony, all stakeholders get a say. Judges reviewed by Justice Dept.  The funny part:   Company pays the lawyers supposedly working equally for both sides cough cough.  !!!!!

The REAL story:  Morally, it's a quiz.  Voyager pretended to be serious, then gave deposits to OTHERS going long as a song.   Alex the Machine at least lost money on his own, often in public,  except maybe embezzlement.  Guffaws for Three Arrows - the greatest hedge fund sales team of all time ROFL!!!    Unlike Lex, no calls for a long trial.   

Dear readers know we think clients want to grab the haircut and run.  Not get saddled by equity while lawyers and C-suiters at a disaster pay each other to twiddle away.   

But then we think bankrupt  bond holders should get WAAYYYY more than stock holders, and they  only get kinda more, so don't trust us.  Judges say TWO THANK YOUs, excellent job Sujeet!   See lookie it's working changing the fabric of FT crypto coverage one chitpost at time YAY!!!!!

Next:  Coinbase insider trading!!TLDR: The first ever crypto insider trading case.  Ishan is busted, a Coinbase product manager (fun cross cultural job, but a lowish title haunting careers to the grave.) Ishan relayed internal Coinbase listing info to his brother Nikhil and frIend Sameer for seven figures in a year. 

NY US Attorney Damian filed wire fraud and conspiracy cases.  Wall Street's SEC Commission filed parallel antifraud  civil cases.  Are tokens securities???     Ishan's lawyer cries innocence!! 

The REAL Story:  Hey TIGHTEN THE EFF UP ON THE DRUMS THERE, Coinbase, cover down on that confidential info!!! The FT calls crypto a trillion dollar market, thank you. Damian oddly name drops Web3 to grab headlines.  Coinbase ain't a DEX, and insider trading is a Web2 crime.  Maybe Damien is bending backwards over a Web3 coin insider traded?  That's a stretch.  But hey that's show biz !!  

Judges say one THANK YOU FT!!    We knew you could use your words FT!!

Letters in the FT:  FU's  for printing FT chestnut #3:  Crypto is all greater fool.  

FU FT, FU Upton.  Punters hoping for profit brought you everything good in your miserable life.   Only hopefully excepting the missus.  Who's right, y'all or a trillion dollars?? Oh yeah yer smarter than Schroders.  We're hearing "get a horse", "man will never fly" and "space travel is impossible" here.  Break open a nice big can o STFU.  

It's funny, we went on the FT comments section, once, disgusting.  All  100% "Why don't they just ban crypto" all the time!!!.   A: they can't, when will you learn.  Go for it, break all the UK laws allowing world trade.

ZZ Bottom    writes to say  kids see greys high life via on remortgages. Kids work deadends to  pay rent for gray vacations. Ripoffs from gummint et al strip basics to where scams prey on the desperate.  We think this letter was  doing great but edited.   Bet ya FT clipped out  the last part about crypto  the only escape valve. 

300 houses over $5MM sold in London "swish" nabes.  The FT gets in a dig, real estate ain't gonna crash like crypto. 

Dear readers know we love Katie Longview. & She is ON POINT bay beeeee!!!!! TLDR: Mario's sweet words  once could soothe a (low inflation) market. The ECB creates the TPI for bond market manipulation.  The euro & Italian govvies  tweaked up, then ground on DOWN!!!!  

Katie disagrees with our forecast of controlled  boredom, bond traders will have a "treasure hunt" discovering where the ECN will intervene, lol!! OK. Looks like a misstep, but that's unfair cause SUCH inflation. TPI is a common test for VD, lol, funny but TMI, don't wanna know how y'all know!!

But y'now, as traders' humor goes that was super mild.   Citi says keep on selling euros.  The central bank put  cavalry is NOT coming to the rescue cause inflation natives are too rough. 

The REAL story:  TEEEEEELLLLL IT LIKE IT IS!!!! The REAL LEX law, preach sister, what IS the wisdom of the markets!!??  Two thank you's!! TPI = market manipulation!!   Not working, won't work. Katie points out if TPI correctly used can't be rolled out fast, cause first , reforms.  We bet that will be ignored to waste money for super elite virtue signaling for superyacht cocktails cred while parasites Cantillon position like always.  Hey, it's actually maybe more subtle than Nancy insider trading defense stocks.  Y'know, like CLLLLAAAAASSSSSSY.  that makes it OK huh? 

Brothers and sisters, our lady of blessed acceleration, Saint Helen of the Blessed Shroud Orphange, we love ya, the whole band is gonna save ya, don't you worry one little bit.  

We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight
And we would especially like to welcome all the
Representatives of Illinois' law enforcement community
Who have chosen to join us here in
The Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time
We do sincerely hope you'll all enjoy the show
And please remember people, that no matter who you are
And what you do to live, thrive and survive
There are still some things that make us all the same
You, me, them, everybody, everybody Everybody needs somebody
Everybody needs somebody to love
Someone to love (someone to love)
Sweetheart to miss (sweetheart to miss)
Sugar to kiss (sugar to kiss)
I need you you you
In the morning (I need you you you)
When my soul's on fire (I need you you you)

Peace out, sweet dreams, love

Dave