Yay crypto people, we love you!  SO happy to see y'all again.  When you zoom out, it's pretty funny how humans will get together to play music.  And create better societies!!  And wonderful worlds like the volcanic Publish0x!!   Once got a postcard of a volcano that said this reminds me of you from a French girlfriend.  Mixed comment there.  TBF when we met, our tude was foul, our Texas girlfriend had just left us for a drummer.  FOR A (#&#(*$&!!   DRUMMER!!!   But we did have the Paris metro map on our wall.    Dear readers know love and art will be convulsive or not at all!!  Here's how to make a spray gun out of a fire extinguisher.  Yes, reading music,  we're sticking with Ye & Jay-Z. Get in the zoneTLDL- some classic lines in the song, but this video is, well, volcanic!!  Love to G-rock where ever ya are, love to Hugh Rock hopefully (but probably not) in heaven, and all the rest of the rock clan from D-Rock & Jay-Z. 

Crypto in the FT!  It's friday so we MUST get the newsletter, but once burned twice shy baby.  Print version first!  

Fiat funnies cascade.  Sugarfix was right,  Sterling & Truss are DOA. Kristalina at the IMF kicks Kwasi while he's down.  Hush Kris go hand out pallets of cash to countries around the world like you always do, then blame inflation on Kwasi!!  Meanwhile the UK actually DOES hand out the billions in quant easing yesterday.

TradFi corruption watch - Tokyo arrests Olympic bribers.  Steve from Toilet & Douch, sorry Deloitte now, has a drunken  (racist, sexist) tirade  (loses his chit)  at a Royal Ascot party, he's fired today.  On a more serious note, Belarus joins the growing war. 

Crypto that says crypto:  In the entire 40 page special on lawyers, there is ONE minor runner up prize given to a lawyer that did some NFTs.  Zoom out on that one.  Or, zoom in, if you dare, on the lawyers helping to make it OK for us to eat bugs.

OK then.  There is a couple of pages on lawyers in the metaverse, but the article manages to skip crypto in an amazing back twist, other than one law firm accepts PAY in crypto.  PROVING what a contortion it is to avoid talking about it, hoping crypto will go away is the FT narrative!! 

Lex weighs in with a crypto article - NFT's gone ape in the crypto winter. TLDR: Boring Apes Yacht club number go down 20% just this month.  Apecoin is down 80%.  Assassin's creed Ubisoft talked up crypto but backed off for now.  CNN shut down tokens for news.  Criminal crypto is rising. Lex is not satisfied with what are NFT's for?  Did Balmain need Barbi NFTs? Did Damien Hirst need to burn artwork when clients chose the NFT?  Verifying ownership could be more useful than flashy Jpegs. 

The REAL story:  It's very FUNNY!!!  the FT is so out of touch that they can't tell the difference between real live graffiti from outlaw artists and paid for, approved ADs that are put up in ritzy nabes!  Y'all are mugs, you lugs, lame lame LAME!!!!  Guess that campaign WORKS on your tiny old brains!!! WOW y'all schmucks swallowed the bait hook line & sinker!!  Go back and watch the video above you skipped, THAT'S GRAFFITI BABY!!!!  

Once we stop laughing at the FT over THAT, we have always agreed boring apes are a triumph of marketing, but probably illegal.   & we don't care about Apecoin.

The CNN story, never in the FT, is a side=splitter, comic genius.   CNN did a rug pull!! CNN sold NFT's of news events as collectibles, while promising various long term benefits.   Now that's all piffed, and CNN offers a 20% refund on the closed system.  Yeah, that's a rug pull aiight!! 80% down seems to be the number.  Thanks Lex!!  but call it a rug pull, c'mon into this decade!!!  Ar ar ar ar ar !! 

We disagree, Balmain DID need Barbi NFTs, we love Barbi, she's the (german) American dream!! You sad brits!!  We REALLY disagree, HELL YEAH Damien Hirst needed to burn his art after letting clients choose NFT's OR paper!!  True art WILL be convulsive, you BORING people, don't you see the genius there??

OK, we go online now, what do we get??  Alphaville mails one in, just a bunch of links for Friday.  The ones that go to crypto stories are universally negative, in keeping with Alphaville standards.  Viz: 

A Bank Underground article says crypto needs a lender of last resort.  & THAT's where yer WRONG, bucko!!  Yer missing the point entirely!!  Bailouts are the only thing that could  (corruptly) mess things up THIS BADLY!!  Same article repeats the FT lie that Tether broke its peg, when it actually paid out ten billion in redemptions in full price, an absolute historical peak in withstanding a bank run.  They also call Celsius a classic bank run.  No, when the charismatic owner et al LOSE 1.2 BILLION off the balance sheet, the bank run is not the problem.  FU, FT & bank underground. 

A Bloomberg article says crypto crime is up.  All the crypto crime this year is dwarfed by the missing billions at tradfi  Credit Suisse & D-Bank & many other tradfi's, & y'all know it, just  hush.

Some blogger presents the idea of a stablecoin Dao where interest on backing could flow back to HODLers.   Hidden at  the bottom of the article, labeled random afterthoughts, the author concedes that MakerDao is already doing this.  Oh ya, rando blogger, yer SO much smarter than A16Z.  We are SO lucky to have YOU.   Let's just move on before we  just get mad, Alphaville is proven not worth it on crypto. 

OK, we can't avoid it any longer, hold yer nose we are going in - it's that bastion of crypto hate, the CryptoFinance newsletter!! Prove us wrong FT we're begging ya now... TLDR: Neggy rehash of Tornado's banhammering.  Now Coin Center is suing Treasury on behalf of free speech and privacy.  The FT sneers, will they win?  If not, why bother?   The lawsuit doesn't address money laundering.  

John Doe, in the suit, states he gave money to the Ukraine, and does not want to be killed by death from Russia.  The FT brings in lawyer Peter from London, he's quite skeptical of the First Amendment claim.  Peter ACTUALLY ($*&!#(*$&($!!! says "Why don't you just cut them a cheque?  That's pretty private (sic.)" 

Peter does admit that T-cash has been used between non criminal clients, which could be a problem for Treasury. 

Maybe the battle is for the future ( duh.) Teresa from a US law firm says increasing the public discourse around open source software tools would be good. Ex SEC head John says the industry cries out for reg clarity, then files a lawsuit when they get it. 

The REAL story:  Well yeah, John, that's what Americans are supposed to do when hit with regulatory overreach!!! 

OK we are losing it.  STFU about first amendment rights, lawyer Peter, go talk about London.   We can't even unpack the check statement, it's SO far out of touch.  Clearly Peter has never had a bank try and block his crypto purchase.  A check is forever ever not private. WTF???   

People run people over with cars, and they use cars to transport stolen goods.  Should cars be banned?  This story doesn't even TOUCH the real issue.  Is open source software protected free speech? 

Next up: Solana is hurting, the latest is the Mango hack for 100mm.  Snide comments as the Mango team says the Oracles worked fine, despite the exploit.  The FT skips the fun part where the Mango hacker proposed taking treasury funds out to help a whale.  Then the hacker voted for his own proposal, it's all funny!! but not in the FT. 

Next: the one lonely positive crypto note.  Crypto.com is now licensed in France. 

Next, a hack on Meta. Now you will have legs in Meta.  As a Twitter points out, something Madden football accomplished back in 1994, & others earlier.  

Next, a rehash and house ad on the Bittrex and Binance stories we already covered. 

Next, Tether has dropped all commercial paper from their backing, something the FT used to whinge about.  Cue predictable snide comment about the slow coming Tether audit, and that Tether only did this because interest is now available.  Hey, our prediction on Tether staying ahead of the reghammer is looking dang good!! 

Finally, a dig on Coinbase.  Spot trading on Coinbase is down, in a time when Binance, FTX and OKX went up.  A negative comment about the Coinbase documentary, and a link to an Atlantic article savaging it.  AND a negative graph!! The REAL story:  Zoom out here for the hypocrisy.  The largest exchange in the world, and two out of three of the largest, all have spot volume going UP.  Why can't we see THOSE graphs??   

We want to dish out FU's like popcorn.  Zoom out MORE:  Eight crypto stories, including the rehashes, and SEVEN are full on negative spin.   Even on the one positive story, French Crypto.com is good to GO, no context!!   No mention of the disaster that is the FCA's prevention of crypto revenue for the UK!  Paris is eating the City's lunch despite the UK admin's  stated goal of cryptopolis.  Forever unstated in the FT,  "mind you,"    but stated repeatedly by the UK gummint.  What IS the job of FT crypto reporters then!??!  if  they can NEVER say the UK admin WANTS crypto to succeed???  $($&#!(*&!!! 

Zoom out STILL MORE !  The UK, supposedly the fifth largest economy in the world, is thrashing around in self inflicted fiat hell right now, worse than your average third world fumblebucks.  The IMF is  LAUGHING at the UK as well as scolding it.  World markets are laughing too, along with  sending vulture funds over to pick thru the bones.  UK pension funds are dead fish on the beach, starting to stink in the sun.  or the UK rain, whatever!!

What's the FT got to say?  Well, they are not rearranging the deck chairs on the Titantic, at least (yes they are!)  Only because they are so busy kicking crypto and pretending it's gonna stay down!!   

Judges agree:  in this time of MASSIVE institutional crypto adoption, plus international crypto approvals, the FT crypto update goes 90% negative?  Have a whole bag of FU's, FT.  We are not going to dignify this mess by being specific.  Ok we will:  that's SEVEN out of EIGHT FU's, FT!!!  A new record!!?? We want to go eight but can't swing the Judges.

Man, we gotta wash off the HATE!!! 

There that's better.  

We love you crypto people!! NO MORE FT for a day, YAY!! 

We gotta sleep, take good care of yourselves!! 

Peace out

Love

Dave

ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg

We're gonna skate to one song and one song only
Ball so hard, motherfuckers wanna fine me

That shit cray, that shit cray, that shit cray

I don't even know what that means
No one knows what it means, but it's provocative

Don't let me get in my zone
The stars is in the building
They hands is to the ceiling
I know I'm 'bout to kill it
How you know? I got that feeling
You are now watching the throne

I'm definitely in my zone

PS love