Crypto people you know we love you!!  Here's today's love letter to y'all, we pray the algo of the soulful Publish0x to deliver it!! 

Transmogrifying crypto coverage in the FT one clickbait chitpost at a TIME, Watch Army!!   We shall not falter!!  If we can fjnd funnies, anyway!

Whew, no crypto on the front page!!   What a relief!!

Crypto that dare not speak it's name - UK pension funds lost a half trillion last quarter, figure about 30% gone forever more!! Good job LDI consultant jockey monkeys!! 

Tradfi corruption funnies!! Let's see - Goldman just paid 4 million over lying to clients about ESG, that's cute!! 10% of Credit Suisse clients are out the door, as CS loses 1.6 billion just this quarter!!!!  Bailing out Uniper in Germany will cost an extra 25 billion, up to 50 billion now in fresh to be printed fiat!!! 

The stories we laughed at yesterday make dead trees.  A fresh pic of Sammy, disgusting greasy hair and like mayonnaise or dandruff on his t-shirt oh man.  Subliminally, tied to Barry Silbert's story we worried about yesterday. 

TLDR: icky.   A three-fer, billions stranded Lehman spin, Barry's going down, AND Sammy's fifth or sixth apology, clinking hollowly. 

Moving on: The ed boards steak knife makes print, still skipping Binance's eighty billion liquid, still lying about Binance's liabilities. 

In print - here this is NEW!!  Lex checks in: TLDR: Unregulated FTX blew up.  Heavy touch bank regulation has moved UST trading to weirder corners of the market. 

Lex looks at Bill Hwang's blowup, UK Pensions chitting the bed just now, and FTX.   Lex articulates the FT theme that regulating crypto only transfers the cost to taxpayers, lol.   SInce FTX was not contagious beyond crypto, the regs are fine!!! 

The REAL story:   very funny to hear the FT line that any crypto reg is bad crypto reg, we agree but for 100% different reasons!!!

not directly in the FT this time, the heavy reghammering of US banks also means much less shock absorbers are possible with the banks for UST trading, it's a big deal, inventories had to go down 50%, it's bone on bone now as the UST market becomes more surreal every year anyway. 

It's REALLY funny, BIll Hwang lost 20-30 billion in two daysmaybe more, that's WAY bigger than Sammy, chill out.   Great details include wire fraud convictions. 

We just went over London's pension funds shedding at LEAST 500 billion last quarter.   Really, that's tying together a 500 billion loss with a 30 billion loss with an under ten billion loss that was CRAWLING with fraud, wethinks Lex doth protest too much. 

ONLINE whoa baby!!! Let's move, lotta ground to cover! TLDR: trust Alphaville to keep pounding away!!  Trying, anyway.  The REAL story: massive cheerleading for contagion, death to DCG and crypto inshallah haibibi!!   Replay magic beans joke. 

A total rehash, with one update.  Remember when Grams said if you can't say something nice, say nothing??  Well, alphaville don't remember either.  It's funny, neither AV nor their source believes that Grayscale is faking their deposits.   But BOY HOWDY does FT AV enjoy SPREADING that nasty rumor!! 

Next! Some fresh crypto, a mixed bag but some hate from Jill at Expresso! Hey, she is writing for FT AV, she knows her market!!  TLDR:  Good ol Charlie, crypto is VD.   Crypto is all about making money!!  The guys who invented Dogecoin now hate all crypto. 

ICO's sometimes tanked.  A good doggy clone made 90BN of market cap!!!  Many say crypto is dead with no utility. 

Zcash is private.  Eth has smart contracts.  Use cases have been coming DESPITE industry incentives. 

Crypto is all weirdos (ideaologues) and nerds (hardcore crypto lovers.)   FTX's crash n burn was depressing, but now it's over.  Maybe now something real like Charlie would have liked will be built. 

The REAL story:  Scr-w Charlie to the max.  He spent his life as he learned to play poker - fold quickly when called on a low hand, gouge the $#(*$& out of everyone when you can.  Yeah, sure, Charlie, if you really thought you could create your own money you would have, h-ll you DID with Buffett's stock.   Charlie never cared about utility that wasn't reflected in rising stock prices in his portfolio, GTFOutta here with Charlie would approve of utility, spare us.  We think Chas is projecting with that STD hack. 

BTC was not actually created to make money, it was created to stop the Cantillon positioned ABUSE of fiat.   ETH's latest devs let by Vitalek are not really just about making money, rather about creating a web3 future, CAN"T be evil.    And in general, capitalism's magic hand is working just fine - if Solana or DAO's or DEXs or whatever really freaking work, they will make money.  If not, try again!! 

And to be clear - any white collar journo in a semi-functioning democracy not facing 80% fiat inflation should really STFU about crypto having no real world use case.  That's just privileged first world smugness coming through, it's callow, deeply insensitive, really just mean.  Go spout that horse($#*$& in a bar in Brazil, we double dog dare you. 

The two guys that created Doge are pretty funny.  They did it out of hate for crypto - look we are so smart!! We could make our own money!!! Then when it took off, these fools never HELD any!!!  Oh, one of them got 3,000 towards a used car, the other, zip.  He kept his hate, though, still whinges about how evil crypto is.  !!!???!!! 

The FT passes snide remarks on ICO's as if stock offerings did not crash ALLA time.  Dear readers know we looked back this week, there are a BOATLOAD of coins in the top twenty that are down 60-90% from ATHs, but are STILL 2x-10x-100x  ( ETH - 500x??? ) above their ICO ( or equivalent thereof) prices.   BNB - 500x from ICO?? ADA, MATIC, boatloads still up from ICO - what the #$#)$@$#$(*&?? are y'all even talking about??? 

NEXT!!! Boy we know the FT loves lawyers alreadyTLDR: no list of creditors coming out from THESE flying monkeys!!   

Not much new news.  Lawyers consider some FTX employees to be compromised, stay tuned.  One fun factoid - SBF has been talking with HIS father,  a Stanford Law prof, and daddy's pal Dave that teaches Criminal Law and White Collar Crime ar ar ar !!! 

One really funny graph - like MOST of FTX's clients not in tax havens were in the UK AH HA HA HA HA !!!oh, poetic justice!!!  How's that ban on crypto going for ya, FCA, UK!???!  AH ha ha ha, if y'all had allowed Binance in, none of this would have happened!!! 

NEXT!! TLDR:  a reporter tries his luck with a blockchain browser.  Gets confused, asks for help.   Then confuses the rest of us!!! 

Interesting list of coins FTX was holding - including YFI, NEAR, GRT, BAT over a half mill each. 

Watching flying lawyers reveals them asking for indemnification and exculpation for certain FTX employees, WTH does that mean?? The FT thinks employees did some non-best practice stuff, like stashing 5 billion on a hot wallet in the hotel safe, ar ar ar !!  Prediction:  We think this means forgiveness - one of the inside job hackers will give back a bunch of money if they can keep other money as a stupidity bounty!!! 

Watching the coins slosh around, looks like Binance was getting paid every time they moved, which is very funny.  It looks like two big wallets are involved, one looks white hat, one black. Stay tuned!! 

NEXT!!! TLDR:  we are groundhogging hard again.  This story is only ten hours old, but it is the SAME story for the third??? time!! 

The REAL story - actually 100% new content free!! NOT a thought we have not already heard!!  Even has a link back to the same story with the same pic by a possibly different author.  What gives??  Where is the meta editor???

NEXT! 

A ray of hope!! Here Gil tries to big gun atone for her last two sinfully biased crypto outings!! TLDR: Cop27 updates!!   Goldman, BIS and HK are trying to standardize carbon credits with crypto & smart contracts.   Green bonds are tanking, this might help. Experiments continue.  Of course, CDBC forex experiments do too.  Could this be done without crypto?  Maybe? but it is not BEING done. It's too soon to judge crypto - maybe it can make the world green!! Gil can't miss putting the knife in now & then - crypto could save carbon credits even if crypto is never widely adapted!!!  NO it couldn't, hush. 

The REAL story:  ESG investing is TANKING, while non ESG stocks skyrocket.  All of the ESG reg hammering has led to reopening coal plants and burning old growth forests to survive the winter shortages caused by ESG shutdowns of refining, drilling, etc.  It's really sad.  ESG & carbon credits are totally full of lies & everyone knows it. 

It's really FUNNY, though, the GS / BIS / HK project is named Genesis, ar ar ar har!!!  It's even funnier - COP27, that's the place where 800 private jets gather to tell everyone to ride bicycles, yeah?? The US sent John Kerry, he's got ten or twenty homes, cars, jets, hell he has TWO YACHTS!! & HE's th poster boy for carbon credits!!??!!?? Words fail us. 

OK crypto people, we love ya, it's time to pass out & dream of better days.  BNB is back at 300 ar ar ar!! 

peace out, thanks! 

love, 

Dave

please refer a friend!!  still incel ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg