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Crypto enlightenment waiting for us in Le Grande Damme of finance, the FT.
Crypto not crypto news VERY funny, late realization. Quant easing, grandly named buying of chit bonds, has ALREADY JUST NOW bought southern govvies like Italy, not spending a sou on German & Dutch, direct transfer of funds. Yes we all thought Christine was just given that unlimited Thanos chequebook. ROFL!!!
Truth is her boys had the power all along, doing whatEVER with QE whenever the (@[email protected]!$(*!! they wanted. AND they wanted us to know!! Actually classic management - the threat of the stick has a better chance than actual use of the stick on the managed.
The FT Vauld blackout continues. Vauld got a three month legal extension, Antonio says it takes time. Free the news on hope for the Indian Two!!!!
Another gaming review! In an absolute BACKFLIP to avoid the confluence of crypto and gaming, the FT covers NETFLIX games !! Yes, who knew! TLDR: Netflix has games, who knew. Tom IS searching for games without ethically dubious, predatory monetization schemes. OK good on him, AC Valhalla was obnoxious like that. Link below -others asked after blockchain in Netflix games, answer is NO, wrong model.
CRYPTO in the FT!! Today? NADA in the print version. ??? In the real world LOADS o crypto news. Price action yes, but the FUNNY story not in the FT - Celsius believers are pulling a Game Stonk like short squeeze, it's hilarious!!
#CelShortSqueeze!! is Trending baby!! ROFL !! Is it WORKING?? Community led yeeeehaww almost 4x short squeezy Peazy!! yow. Meanwhile lawyers say " quit thinking of your accounts as yours." Thanks mr. lawyer, you mean they are yours, right? At least that did not go your way for some Voyager cash accounts at Metro Bank.
None of this fun for FT readers, though. Online we have two articles, another bash on Coinbase, and one on RobinHood. Kind of the same story, it's ALL CRYPTO's FAULT. Which is funny. TLDR: Coinbase numbers go down, revs down 60% this quarter, lost a billion after gaining 1.5 last year. 500MM impairment charge on crypto markdowns. 18% layoffs, stock down. Hidden in the numbers: They are making almost THREE billion annually in revenues, paying out almost half of that in stock awards to employees, and still have six billion in capital ready to go. Is that so bad? We think not, but the FT gets to say crypto winter and growing losses, whatever. No FU's but no thank yous.
Which is more than we can say about this agitprop: TLDR: Robinhood number go down. Clients, revs, employees, AUM, market cap, etc all down. Stimmy checks fed the frenzy, now RobinHood is waking up puking in a Vegas bathroom with a stolen tiger, waiting to be beat by Mike Tyson sez Dan at Mizuho. Richard from Piper says all the youth have just gone away, crushed in crypto stocks. Tom at Tastyworks says Robinhood only MADE money from small crypto traders.
We see some graph porn. Crypto revenue is down 75%!!
Rehash of Inside baseball talk, Schwab & others make all their $$ from (increasing) interest on cash accounts. RH gets none of that.
The REAL story: We got a BIG problem with the graph porn. First, dear readers know odds are good we want to beat on FT elevated crypto critics. This time Dan (a meh fintech analyst with little crypto chops who likes to say "crypto winter" and Richard ( even more meh analyst, little pubs, instead videos - makes a living sounding like a great, rational, agreeable guy while CBS anchors say " What if bitcoin goes to zero? Or ten K!?!?! What then, huh!!"
And we REALLY wanna denigrate Tom: ok, we got ADD, we will. Here's Tommy. Shill company Tastytrade owns cheezy trading platform Tastyworks. Tommy hopes it IS the end of crypto, else his long term strategy is pretty dumb with only 25 coins. Look at him and ask yourself: is this guy selling my order flow for pennies? Oh H-ll ya. And he is.
Sorry, we meant to SKIP the usual FT loving parade of anti-crypto know nothings raining doom. Let's focus on the selling order flow part!!!
How the #*$&^#$&*^!!! can the FT publish an article about RobinHood tanking in 2022 without saying "pay for order flow?" One year ago, that's how they made ALL their money!!! This is a REALLY sore topic, among others, for the meme stonkers. We don't know if the SEC will make good on Gary's threat to ban pay for flow. We DO know Robinhood paid 65 million to the SEC for giving chitty executions, and lying about profits (not saying order flow) but denying all wrongdoing. We ALSO know FINRA gave Robinhood the biggest FINRA fine EVAH!! 70 Million plus interest for misleading (lying) about chitty execution, cheezy systems. Because, seriousness and scope. Poor 20 year old Alex killed himself after his screen said (wrongly) he lost $750K and he called for help three times and got none. RH settled wrongful death out of court.
We don't know for SURE if Robinhood scr-wed over clients for the big guys during the memestonk wars. We DO know many believe they did (they did.) We DO know last week, New York fined RH ANOTHER 30MM plus restrictions for cybersecurity and AML.
Which brings us back to the mystery revenue graph. WHERE is the pay for flow? Sleazy Tommie tellingly tries to lump Tasty in with IB and Fidelity, saying it's all crypto's fault. The reality? Interactive Brokers and Fidelity DON'T TAKE PAY FOR FLOW. (#$&#(*$&#@(*!!! Tommie!!
The graph shows RH punching 550 MM in revenue for Q2 in 2021. Huh, Barron's sez Robinhood pulled pay for flow of 785 MM in revs for the first half of 2021.
So tell us again how this article skips pay for flow. Was 100% of the crypto profit pay for flow then?
One FU for not saying regulatory shocks scaring off clients. One FU for not saying pay for flow. Another FU for Tommie et al. And despite Judges objections, a FORTH FU for not saying Robinhood destroyed the faith of the memestonkers with the big boys always win scandal. Over fifty suits were filed on Robinhood over the GameStop trading halt. FU for that pivot that Robinhood's decline is all about the little paper handed crypto traderboys in crypto winter, FT. Judges mitigate slightly, Four out of FIVE deep seated FU's for this mystery of misdirection ending in hate & doom for crypto.
Man, climb outta the muck, wash off gotta get back to that enlightened heart part team, that was funkyAhh... that's much better. Community led lol!! Peace, goodnight,
Hey Publish0x ambassador link: thanks