Crypto rockers, we love you! Cue the French national anthem and join us aboard the magical Publish0x for a new summer of love! If we have to fight through the winter first, just means we'll have time together to listen to Lennon AND Marley's One Love AND Beethoven's Romance #2 and whatever is on the playlist for y'all and your sweeties. Even if it is The Damned "Love Song" off Machine Gun Etiquette. Or "Why don't we get drunk" nah, nevermind, anyway
Join us as we tilt at the windmill of crypto coverage from the FT today!
Here's a juicy headline from Lex: US Banking/Crypto Crash stressing out. TLDR: A mortgage hedge fund sponsored by Bear Stearns kicked off the crash in 2008 fifteen years ago. Since then, banks must have reserves and run "stress tests." That's "ironic" as "crypto winter" crashes, Voyager loses the loan to Three (Broken) Arrows after offering 12% returns. "Newfangled lenders" were "effectively" banks, designed to "up-end a supposedly obsolete Wall Street." Banks offer no returns, but do have FDIC insured deposits and growing reserves. A "shadow banking industry - risk capital used for loan creation" sprung up, first peer-to-peer loans, then corporate direct lending, then buy now, pay later, then crypto defi. (??!!??) That's all threatened now, there will be no bailout for crypto, and bank investors should love? be proud of? thankful for? their "shackles." 
What's the real story? Well, mostly Lex showing their true colors, massive resentment about anything not tradfi changing Wall Street! We worked at Bear Stearns, and what a weird chithole it was. Too much to go into here - ok just two. 1) Jeffery Epstein came out of Bear with his biz model of blackmailing pedos!! 2) Bear had the right (we signed it!!) to stuff (PAY EMPLOYEES with) sh-t stocks in case of an IPO fail WHAT WHAT!!??!
Germane to Lex, though, what's seriously funny was when a Bear desk got caught pulling massively illegal chit, Bear would pretend to fire the traders, while instead the rogue desk just moved a few yards off the floor and set up with full technical etc support as, wait for it, a hedge fund!!!
We've all seen banks fake deposits, some E&Y auditors have been proven liars & cheats, and every test ever given on Wall Street gets gamed to the max, but we'll skip that to focus on Lex's hallucinatory progression of the mysterious "shadow" bias. "Peer-to-peer" loans are really tradfi like bridge loans. Oh look, on the first search page here's a ad for one up top from Google, hilariously offering - yes - 12% returns to investors!!! 
Yet somehow we never heard Lex hate on THOSE 12% promises ROFL!!! Corporate direct lending is the same thing, medium businesses are squeezed & locked out of banks, forced into basically predatory loans. Then Lex does some logical backflips with contorting twists!! Buy now pay later is an ancient consumer scam, recently broken out into an industry, and has NOTHING to do with any of the above! Just a smear job Lex somehow tries to hang on crypto defi! Defi has squat to do with ANY of the above. No one investing in crypto thought they were depositing into FDIC banks, baby. Just like Bear hedge funds, often hedge funds do stupid ch-t and go bust, unless they bought enough politicians to get a tradfi bailout first. Oh Lex, yer so cute when ya misplace your anger.
That said, for a while now we have been meaning to say what IS a howler - it looks like a lot of crypto hedge funds did not do a damn thing other than hand their funds off to some truly crazed OTHER crypto hedge funds. LIke, why not just do it yourself?? Who are you fooling? No one, it turns out.
Here's a quick one - French star Mbappe is investing and becoming an ambassador for Solare. 
What's funny? wassamater, FT, cat got your Crypto tongue? this is Crypto, not tech. Solare makes NFT trading cards. SAY IT FT SAAAAAAY IT C-R-Y-P-T-O!!!! Also, Solare is now valued at $4.3 billion, ( one of those French companies Macron is trying to incubate??) but that tidbit is well buried underneath the FT telling us all once again to be prepared to lose ALL our money. There it is again, ALL our money. Going to zero.
On the back of the FT, under Lex's bash fest, we have a giant legal notice put out by Tulip Trading. Hey this is a real page turning potboiler of a story!! NOT THAT THE FT IS COVERING IT!! 
The real story? This is a deeply insane story, and we really wish some full time investigative journalists would cover it and boil it down for us. Craig Wright is the guy who claims he is Satoshi, and is busy suing, under UK libel law, people like Vitalek who say that's laughable. Other Craig antics include him seizing tons of btc from his dead partner's estate but having to pay 100 million back for IP rights. Craig claims he owns Satoshi's wallet and others, some of which have sent messages saying that's not so. Right here, the real news is earlier this month, link below, the lawyers Bird & Bird won their case against Craig, WHEN CRAIG SUED BITCOIN!!! along with BSV and BCH etc devs, trying to force bitcoin to hard fork and give him back the 4.5 Billion in this wallet. Woweeee. The courts said Nein, BTC is open source and has no fiduciary responsibilities to those who use that code to store valuables. This is another key milestone in legal action, which the FT SHOULD cover. This ad is an attempt at a counterstrike by the mad Australian's lawyers. This wallet is known as the Tulip Trust, and noone else seems to be able to figure it out either, for example is it 888,000 or 1,111,000 BTC, are there one or three tulip trusts? Craig seemed to be claiming for a while that some smart contract, or something, would give him back the keys in 2020, but through an amazing coincidence, that's right about when he was "hacked." Or not. Help us, obi-wan FT. Don't just take Craig's money for legal ads!! Though we guess if Vitalek is getting sued, maybe we ask too much for the FT to be "without fear" on this one.
Now THAT's a story. Not in the FT, there it's just an unexplained legal notice. But who loves ya baby ?? we do!!
Peace love & Satoshis,
Dave
