Crypto animals, we just LOVE you! Most enlightened blockchain believers, our amorousness for your zealous ideals knows no bounds. A letter (or a tip!!) from y'all is proof that we live in a wondrous new world. And we all love joining together as one under the banner of the all-knowing Publish0x to lift mankind to a new age without the endless damage caused by paper hanging fiat kleptos...
Today's tour of crypto in the fractured mirror of the FT is an exercise in read between the lines ! First up let's clear the boredom, feel FREE to skip! We have a Crypto & MemeStonk headline grabbing hearts and minds. TLDR: uber boring fixed income. Close your eyes: Coinbase, AMC and Netflix have tanked ~80-90% while their bonds dove ~20% to 35%, Coinbase the worst of all. Public junk bonds are going extinct from heavy regulation, replaced by private placement. Bonds never go to the moon cause refinancing, plus bonds have no Wall Street Bets. Bond valuation detailed boredom. The market never trusted Coinbase's bonds and punished them from the get-go. Finally, Ellen is sad because regs "protect" induhviduals from buying private bonds while in duh viduals can buy stocks. The REAL story: The headline is a lie, it should read "Bonds can diverge from their (parent) stocks, (be they) regular, meme or crypto." Trust us, we suffered three readings.The anti-regulatory punchline is funny, from a meta viewpoint, tho not worth the setup. Rating - maybe half an FU for the eds twisting the headline into clickbait with Crypto. We'll never have that time back.
Next up - a quickie!! YAY as dear readers know due to the groundswell led by the simply irresistible Publish0x, today the FT put Crypto back into the World Indices!!Triumph is ours, and not just the insult dawg. This is funny, we reckon even the FT could not use Crypto clickbait without admitting that Crypto exists. Onward and upward!! No giant hole in the middle of the table lol!!
Finally, a meaty crypto story: The EU attacks France over Binance!! Zut alors!! TLDR: An EU Parliament member attacks the AMF ( the French SEC) over the "incomprehensible" approval of Binance. CZ met with Macron last year, in May France ( the AMF) gave their blessing, a "guarantee of respectability." The FT says Binance is getting hate from Singapore, Japan, Italy, and the Dutch; the UK says Binance is high risk and "not capable of being regulated." The AMF said they never comment regarding the EU Parliament. Binance says they "go above and beyond to detect bad actors" and always meet all regulatory requirements. Binance seems to want in to France, and CZ said France would "at least" serve as the regional Binance HQ.
The REAL story - It's funny -ape shall not kill ape, but cheese eating surrender monkeys will always betray ya. Seems "comprehensible" to us!!?? Aurore, the EU MEP attacking Macron and the AMF, is of course French. As a Yank, we have low respect for our selected rulers in the EU Parliament, at least Macron has to face the public every now and then. Let's take a wild guess - ya think maybe Aurore is NOT on Macron's side? We checked, of course not, she is a hard left socialist, Macron is centrist La Marche. The AMF's "no comment" is funny. The FT still won't call CZ CZ, which is funny. The FT and the UK FCE's hate for Binance is not funny, WTF does it mean to say that Binance is not capable of being supervised?? Now we deeply love the French - the Selmer Mark VI tenor sax may be the greatest accomplishment of our times & Paris is a top five city. But why should the FT use rare crypto column space to elevate a spat between French and French that the AMF won't even get involved in? Macron is doing a deal to bring Binance to Paris, which will bring boatloads of jobs and money along, so now he must be stopped. We thought this story only rated a half FU, but we dug a bit deeper.
Aurore is complaining of "sexist" attacks by crypto bros. Well that's not cool, but is it true? Here's the worst "attack" on Aurore, touted by her side. Is this sexist??? Cheezy google translation: A: Tells nonsense on a subject that she does not master and proposes absurd things. Crypto community: No, but you're talking nonsense, can we have a debate with you? Aurora: Look! I get harassed by the crypto community!
Dear readers know we laugh at the French for being unable to even give a good cussing out, e.g. tabernac!!! And something might be lost in translation - calling someone a Mickey D clown in French probably equates to "-ss clown" in the US. By old school seventies NYC "hello, you effing die" standards this isn't even direct enough. Is this really "aggressive?" Is this "verbal abuse?"
No, silly, THIS is Verbal Abuse: Nikki Sikki, Radi Killerwatz, Ed Loco, John Glen, wherever you are, we love ya, HouTex hardcore brothers.
So, overall, FT, a great, informative, au currant article, thanks, but ya gotta take a rating of at least one FU for once again tailoring coverage to appear neutral while actually elevating a well known, long time, extremist critic of crypto.
Au revoir, je t'aime, bisous