TW: mental and physical abuse, appeal to your better nature (assuming you have one)
I recently managed to escape the toxic and negative (pessimistic) environment in which I have been living for so long (more than just the year plus of on-again, off-again COVID-19 lockdown) and which has been hazardous to my mental and physical health.
On the one hand, I am really very pleased to be on my own at last. I am finally free of being manipulated, gaslighted, judged, criticised, insulted, verbally abused, held hostage and starved by those hostile titanic shitgibbons who I mistakenly called friends and family. They've been kicked to the curb, along with the other trash I threw out when döstädning (going through my stuff and deciding what to keep and what to toss out when I moved). They'll never see me for who I am or give me opportunities to be myself and not only grow but thrive (no matter how hard I try to get them to). So fuck them with a rusty fish fork for that; I don't need that negative energy in my life. (I have more than enough of my own with which to shoot myself in the foot).
On the other hand, I have come to realise just how hellishly expensive my independence is going to be, going forward. Even though I've got a very sweet deal (including electricity and water) for an approximately ten metre square apartment, food is ridiculously pricey and I'll be lucky to afford living off much more than bread, water, peanut butter, jam and juice concentrates (which is pretty much my staple diet at this point). Actual fruit juice, yoghurt, milk, meat and alcohol are luxuries I buy maybe once a month if I feel flush or have something to celebrate. (This is a survival strategy I learned from an uncle who lives on a meagre government pension.) So I am at the stage that I'm just about ready to go out and kill with my bare hands just to be able to have some meat (not that I know how to hunt or am in an optimal area for doing so). On top of that, I can barely move about amongst my stuff without first picking it up and putting it down behind me.
Still, it's my place and nobody else's; I can literally lock out the rest of the world (except my landlady) if I feel so inclined. There's something to be said for that, a compromise with which I am prepared to live (although humbly).
Now, as always, I just need to hustle like mad and gain a stable income in the next two months or less in order to keep what I have so far secured with a deposit and payment of one month's rent money. (I don't earn enough from writing alone, even though I have multiple blogs to which I cross-post. Anyone who feels inclined to subscribe to my Patreon or send me additional crypto for my literary efforts and keep me supplied with peanuts is a wonderful person and most appreciated.)
I do have at least one option that is potentially open to me as far as jobs go, while I track down recruitment agencies and send them my CV. A friend of mine and some associates of his are looking to set up a medium-to-large scale crypto mining operation mining Arweave (and possibly some other currencies if they prove viable). He wants to bring me onboard as a consultant/advisor seeing as I do have some mining experience from years past. However, I feel that my success with ZEC and RVN was mostly a fluke of timing, so the situation might be different. To that effect, I am conducting some reasearch and writing a report for him (the end result of which I hope to expand into a book or two on crypto and mining for laymen and beginners).
Hopefully, I can get myself set up with a crypto-backed Visa card (I'm currently looking at Crypto.com) in order to be paid in crypto for my efforts there and manage the fiat aspect(s) of my new-found freedom, but it's not going to be this month or next.
Right, that is me reaching my post limit for today and feeling hungry. Snark out!
