Image credit: Source: Fireintheholee1/ Twitter

DOGE Corp. Purchases TESLA and SNL In Surprise Multi-Market Tyranny... Satire

It's true, and how else can you be certain unless certified by a 3D super hero?!

Image credit: Source: Fireintheholee1/ Twitter

Doge, the coin that everyone loves, or loves to hate, is making the rounds again, this time actually poised to meet its goal for $1.

Last year, the goal was $10, and it made it to more than a fraction of $0.01. Ironically, for the Doge-savvy it was still enough to make numerous millionaires. What most people do not know, is that Doge is a front for the now-infamous Doge Corp. International GmBH LLC Esquire trademark pending.

Do you question me? Much wrong- good proof do right!

Doge, getting more than $50B volume on more than one occasion over the past few weeks, is now being secretly leveraged for its true purpose, Stimpy, to take over the world as we always do(ge). A private holding firm secretly just purchased the Saturday Night Live empire and all syndication rights. But, in even bigger news, Doge Corp also just purchased TESLA right out from under Elon Musk, just before his highly-anticipated SNL airing 5/8/2021 United Stated of America date format thank you verrrrmutch. Such number, good buy!

Some speculate that the 'CEO' of Doge Corp. might actually be Elon himself, posing as a front man not only for the coin's pump, but a soon-coming line of dog pampering supplies and canine nutritional supplements powered by lithium, with a company slogan "Doge Unto Others". Suspicious? I think not. Seriously, tell me any of this is crazier than what actually happens in crypto on a daily basis?

Many years ago, when a brilliant duo processed a better algorithm to explore the internet, they chose a silly sounding name "Google" for their company instead of something more widely understood like 'Searchnet' or 'Spidermethis' or other things that in ironic twist are likely real things you can find by searching Google.

Silicon Valley understands that it's better to name with obsurdity, and even naming nuts like 'Goop' et al pile in. So, what better than to trigger that dormant part of the brain that disengages logic, than to introduce world domination in the form of a cute mascot meme? It's the perfect crime and no one can deny it.

While Grandma and Grandpa struggle to understand how cash can be invisible, the rest of us have to come to grips that all of our networks, satellites, cars, travel options and phone brand choices are going to be a subsidiary of Doge Corp and there's nothing we can do about it.

In the meantime, enjoy your stories of SpaceX starships and new Cybertrucks while the true story lurks beneath the surface. Don't say I didn't warn you; much tell, no doggy biscuit, better take all.

And on that cryptic note, the cryptastic Super Duper Planetary Hero of all that is not true (and quite a few things that are), Gordon Freeman... out.

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Hi! I'm Gordon Freeman (I hear they made a likeness of me in some video game... totally unrelated... or...).

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