Hey everyone,

It's good to be back!  For those of you who have read my stuff before, I tend to be tongue-in-cheek, don't take yourself too seriously, let's have a laugh instead of a coronary, and the like.  So if you came in knowing that about me and already pulling out your hard wallets to tip me large, I say a giant THANK YOU!  If, on the other hand, you're new to my writings, I hope you understand soon that I love to joke around and be silly.  But I hope you still tip me large, so I'll say in advance a giant THANK YOU!!

Now, if there's one thing I learned while teaching grade school, it's that a FACT does not have to be true.  I could say "New York City is the capital of Algeria," and that would be a fact.  A wrong fact, but a fact nonetheless.

With that in mind, here are ten facts about cryptocurrency that you probably never considered!

10)   Approximately 38.5% of Bitcoin miners are named Frank or Joe.

9)    Ethereum usually smells like cotton candy.  If you ever get a batch that smells like bath salts, send it back immediately; it's expired.

8)   Polygon has a sinister origin story.  Its founder had just murdered a friend's parrot and sadistically muttered, "Polly, gone!" before deciding that would make a great token name.

7)    If you placed a thumb tack on a map of the earth for every bitcoin that has ever been mined, the number of thumbtacks would be less than the number of Fast & Furious sequels (they're currently on 56,798).

6)    Marilyn Monroe was assassinated because she knew too much about Atom One's split from Cosmos.

5)    There exists a secret antechamber behind the ear of Teddy Roosevelt on Mount Rushmore that contains all of the Pepe validator servers in the world.

4)    Solana and Kava are the proper plural forms of their respective crypto.  In proper Latin fashion, when you buy a single token, you must say "Solanum" and "Kavum."

3)    When given a choice between Avax and Fantom, right-handed people tend to prefer Fantom.  Left-handed people prefer Jack Daniels.

2)    A man once jumped into a live volcano when a friend dared him to in return for 30 trillion Dogecoin.  He died.

1)    Losing your seed phrase does not actually lock you out of your cold wallet.  The simple phrase "Tom Peppercorn Always Sits At The Front Of The Special Ed Bus" will unlock your wallet, every time, guaranteed.

Got facts of your own?  I'd love to read them!  Leave me a comment!

If you like my writing, please consider tipping me here and leaving a comment, and if you want to read even more, check out my books on Amazon!  The first one is called Learn Me Good, and it's all about rookie teacher Jack Woodson who goes through a baptism of fire after leaving his engineering job and teaching a rowdy group of third graders.

"Jack Woodson is living and working in Dallas, Texas.  He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers."