After college, I lived with two close childhood friends. My friend, who I’ll call Al, ate whatever he wanted. A pack of skittles on his way to the gym, a cinnamon bun from the gas station while filling up, and pizza for dinner was a common occurrence. Another friend of mine, I’ll call Brad, strictly followed Keto since his junior year of college. Full fat yogurt, eggs, and steak were always on the menu. 

As you’d expect, one was shredded and an athlete. So much so that he even had the chance to play basketball professionally in the US before suffering an injury. The other had always been overweight, in fact, clinically obese. 

You may not have suspected that Al, the one who ate “crap”, was the friend in peak physical condition. People assume he’d eat salads and pounds of grilled chicken. Brad would get irate and ask me “Why can Al eat whatever he wants but I follow a strict diet and I can’t lose weight?!” As someone who struggled with weight himself I understood his frustration. At that time, I had lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off. Brad asked me for advice, which got me thinking: How should we eat?

It’s a simple question with contradicting answers. Don’t eat meat. Only eat meat. Don’t eat carbs. Eat rice and oatmeal daily. Stay away from eggs. Eggs are a superfood.

This is not for people who are looking to, for example, bulk up. My goal is to give a baseline to guide readers who struggle with weight and don’t know where to start or where they’re going wrong.

A disclaimer that I’m not a dietician or a doctor, though I have consulted a few. The remainder of the article is my opinion on food. What is “good” and what is “bad”.

Notice I say “good” vs “bad” and not healthy vs unhealthy. I don’t like calling foods unhealthy. Because eating is about moderation and self control. A “good” choice could be eating a salad for dinner, but it could also be eating only a handful of M&M’s instead of the entire bag. A “good” choice may be grabbing a pint with some friends after work even though alcohol isn’t inherently good for you. Socializing is good and needed. Like many things in life, drinking is fine in moderation and so is eating “bad”. Eating a handful of M&M’s or drinking a beer every now and again is not going to cause you to gain weight. Forming a habit of good food choices is what’s important and not compounding on bad food choices.

So,  what are “good” vs “bad” food choices? When I ask: What are “good” foods? You probably think of carrots, lettuce, tomatoes… whatever else they put in salads, right? And “bad” foods are fast food, twinkies, ice cream, anything high in sugar, right? Forget all of that. Let me get in touch with my inner hippie and ask you this “How does it make you feel, man?” To distinguish good vs bad foods, it’s important to realize how the food makes you feel. That’s the question you need to ask yourself. 

“How do I feel after eating a big mac and fries?” Sleepy? Lethargic? Greasy? Stomach ache? Probably, but maybe not. Ask yourself. 

“How do I feel after eating a salad?” Light? Energetic? Probably.

Going back to my friends, Al would constantly complain that his stomach would hurt. He’d complain about bowel issues. His stomach would rumble and he’d grunt in pain. That’s typically what happens when you eat a lot of processed foods. 

Here’s a less obvious example. When I started eating “healthy” I would eat an apple a day. Who am I to argue with a classic saying? After I’d eat my apple, I’d feel a bit sick. The more days I ate them, the more sick I’d feel. To the point where after I’d eat them I’d feel like throwing up (and sometimes did). I went to the doctor and told her that something was wrong with me. We ran tests. So many tests. Too many tests. Finally, after a few months, I realized the times I felt the most sick was after I ate an apple. So, we ran yet another test. Turns out, I’m allergic to apples. 

Had I simply stopped listening to all the noise around me, that apples “keep the doctor away”, and listened to my body, I’d have noticed immediately that apples didn’t make me sick and I’d have stopped eating them. Instead I argued “it can’t be apples. Apples are healthy”.

Another example: my favorite local pizza place sells fantastic salads. One afternoon, I strolled in and saw a menu change. They added quinoa bowls, specifically, falafel bowls. I love falafel. I started ordering the falafel bowl with quinoa multiple times a week. However, I started to notice that after I ate it, I’d feel bloated, and my stomach would rumble all night. I thought I was eating too much. I started to eat only half to no avail. It got to the point where I had to change something. So, I got a quinoa bowl with chicken, but the stomach issues persisted.  I thought “could it be the quinoa? But how?! Quinoa is so healthy!” The next time, I ordered a salad with falafel, no quinoa. I ate the entire thing with no issues and have enjoyed it many times since. 

So, let's go back to the question: how should we eat?

The honest answer is, it varies by person. A cop out, I know, but that really is the answer. What works for me may not work for you or your friend, or your brother or sister, but here are a few guidelines that you can follow. 

1. Listen to your body. Need I say more than above?
2. Avoid processed foods. This is huge. Don’t buy frozen foods (unless it’s veggies with no added sauces, butters, etc.). If cooking time is an issue, find quick and easy recipes. I make things like shakshuka, I air fry salmon, beans, and veggies (highly recommend getting an air fryer), I eat chickpea salad, greek yogurt, oatmeal, and snack on hummus with pita or a banana with peanut butter. All of these take only 15 minutes to prep. Also, I season everything so that it actually tastes good! Very Important.
3. Focus on portions. This was one of the issues for my friend Brad and a benefit for my friend Al. Brad would eat a 6 eggs omelet with veggies and bacon for breakfast, three servings of chili for lunch, and a giant steak for dinner with veggies. In contrast, Al would eat one pop tart for breakfast, a small portion of rice and meat for lunch, and one or two slices of pizza for dinner. 
4. Exercise. This doesn’t mean destroying your knees on a treadmill for an hour a day. Simply getting outside and walking for ten or fifteen is better than nothing. Especially if you can do it multiple times a day. Ten minutes three times a day adds up. Find something you like doing. Biking, swimming, hiking etc. Going back to my friends, Al would go to the gym and lift weights, which is a great way to burn fat. Brad worked remotely pre-covid. He’d sit in his room all day and could go days without realizing he hadn't left the apartment. 
5. Most importantly, build good habits. Just like anything else, if you make good food choices 9/10 times, the decisions will become automatic, and you'll feel the results.

Here are some foods I recommend eating (if it feels good), and some myths I’d like to defunct. 

1. Fish. Fish is great for the heart. salmon, shrimp, sword fish, scallops are all great options, According to a medical study (link below), “There is a significant protective benefit of fish consumption in people with cardiovascular disease”.  The study recommends eating at least 2 servings of fish a week. 
2. Is red meat actually bad?! Sort of… According to studies, red meat increases risk for heart disease, cancer, and diabetes, but don't stress too much. You have to eat a good amount for it to have a noticeably negative impact. The studies recommend limiting yourself to 2 or 3 servings of red meat a week. 
3. Are eggs a superfood or a food to avoid?! There are mixed studies about this, but I lean towards eggs being a good food choice. According to a study by the American heart association (link below) Eggs are low in calories, high in vitamin D, which is good for your immune system, and high in choline, which is good for your liver. They suggest eating as much as an egg a day as long as you don’t have high cholesterol. 
4. Should I eat vegan or keto?! This one, I cannot help with unfortunately. Seems like there are mixed studies for both. I can tell you that I did keto for six months and lost 40 lbs. Once I stopped keto, I gained it all back in a month. In my opinion, limiting certain foods is better than outright banning it from your diet. Plus it’s way more fun being able to get ice cream with your kids or eating a slice of pizza with your grandparents. As long as you’re not creating a continuously bad habit, why rob yourself of life's enjoyments if you don’t have to?