Cypherpunks, god bless ya, we love you! Thanks for the tips likes and follows - the humor is everywhere and we can't unsee it! Let's get started:
NUMBER TEN!!! - clickbait frothy market top madness like this:
Get used to it, we will see plenty.
Number Nine! Ozzie ozzie oi oi oi Craig keeps going with the one man band charm offensive that he is Satoshi: remove MY whitepaper! way to arb an anonymous creator you shameless hussy you.
Get used to Craig, we will see plenty.
Number Eight ! Vicious "bitcoin is terrorist" agitprop coming at us all, cheered on by the central banks. See also Chris and Janet below:
Why must we hear the provably false meme of Bitcoin as the major AML demon over and over in 2021? Why? because the funniest thing is happening - Paypal is buying all the bitcoin mined - which is not that much to begin with. The institutional wall of money will move BTC up and make central banks look out of control. Goldman " Government Sachs" after talking down bitcoin for years, is investigating offering custody services!!! Goldman recently lied about only 1% of Bitcoin being in institutional hands, it is probably pushing 10%. Think that might move up a tad? So get used to fiat powers smearing BTC. We will see plenty of it.
Leading to Number Seven Funniest Crypto Jan 2021 - Grayscale steps it the eff up: ripping off a 700 million day raising funds. That's right. About THREE Scrooge Mc Duck vaults worth fed one way to Grayscale Bitcoin in ONE. FREAKING. DAY. Get used to it :)
Talk Bitcoin down fast and hard, central banks, many would say it's too late, "shoulda killed us LAST YEAR..." Well, that's the buy side. And the "sell" side pressure in this case?
#Six funniest crypto is--- US GUMMIT double overhead cam turbo boosted single rail injection freon cooledmoney printers go BRRRRT BRRRRRT BRRRRRT like really big guns! Amazing big crew-manned belt-ammunition fed printers, very demoralizing to lesser printing centers like the EU. THIS is THE time for an ALL TIME TOP FIVE FAVORITE wall street research chestnut: this week, the US announced what, 900 million in printing on top of 2 Billion in recent or other or something planned printing, it all blurs together. But HERE's the thing we always say !!! A BILLION HERE, TWO BILLION THERE, AFTER A WHILE IT ADDS UP TO REAL MONEY!!! AR AR AR AR AR AR AR AR ar ar ar... okay, we admit many never thought that was as funny as we did. Think maybe this might push up BTC tho? Get used to ( oh shut up Dave)
#five funniest crypto 2021 - European "funny business" ! Remember Christine Lagarde, the former IMF head and current ECB head that we were mocking last article? Here she is in court in 2017 being found guilty of classic crony government as head of the French central bank. Christine was CONVICTED of forcing a bank to give a HALF BILLION DOLLARS to HER cronies bank. Chris coulda served a year and been fined euros, but you know, jail is for those Crypto people, like Bitmex execs, not money printing government insiders. Anywhoo, just now, Christine gave us a couple of comedic gems that shine #1) "funny business" is going on with Bitcoin.
Out of the mouth of babes? Hardly, the sad part is the real players know what is going on and still lead the fight against the people. In a stunning, totally unplanned coincidence (or a cunning, coordinated attack?) in the SAME WEEK 1) Britain's FCA regulator told everyone entering crypto to "prepare to lose all your money." And 2) meanwhile, back at the ranch of government regulatory operations being outsourced to "private" banks, HSBC in the UK formally refused to allow crypto profits to be banked. And Yellen started yellin.
Ok, the bank banning is just a trial balloon shot over the bow at Bitcoin. The FCA timed news drop, in big stylie Marxist propaganda repetition fashion, is just a droning repeat of the March 2020 statement of the incoming bank of England governor Andrew Bailey, where he repeated his pravda-esque statements from 2017. "be prepared to lose ALL your money."
But we are here for the yuk yuk yuks!! so - let's take time from our busy day to forever remember in early 2020 Andy stated bitcoin " just hasn't caught on as much as people thought it would." We'll take quotes that aged like milk for $200 Andy and it's the daily (yearly) double !!! It's also very funny when echo chamber analysts repeat " be prepared to lose your shirt" but even they mince it "well, a large part of your shirt anywhoo" in order to be able to choke out that statement with a straightish face.
Closing the barn door long after the cows are gone? Anyone living in the UK has had their best traditional investments eaten by inflation and taxes and negative interest rates, for decades, while watching cryptos moon. And Bitcoin is now a top 10 ish fiat currency yeeeeee haw yippie kai yay Miraculous mutha EFFERSSS. Gonna die hard, gonna die as hard as we can. Only the fools are listening to you now Andy. Bitcoin's rise was fueled only by those not listening!!
Lose ALL your money?? really? wow, such awesome info from the government. Even after the brains at huge insurance firms like MassMutual dump 100MM in, bitcoin's gonna go to ZERO?? We think they are overestimating their considerable ability to rig the global financial markets into denying the reality of unstoppable bitcoin. Yes, the central banks wish they could kill bitcoin. But any one of them that really tries to will just pay the cost while some other countries smile, profit and welcome bitcoiners in.
Projecting much Christine? Projection analysis is a hilarious tool for working with the behavioral cesspool that is Wall Street / City research. Projection is when if someone yells at you for something, odds are good they are guilty of that very sin. Classic example? - the viciously anti-gay right wing politician who is caught "taking a wide stance" & indulging in butt play at the local public restroom. Plus ego multiplies intellect up to the point where it shatters and fragments. E.g. when Christine says "funny business" is going on, we really , deeply and sincerely agree. Central banks have been financing endless war and taking from the poor to give to the rich since they were created. Could there be a clearer definition of "funny biz" than central banks deciding they can print all the money in the world, give it to a specific few pals, and there will be no unforeseen consequences?
Another smiley example of projection is vehement denial. When Richard Nixon said "I am not a crook" he was. When Clinton said "I did not have sex with that woman" he did. When Trump said " I am fighting for you the people" he was only fighting for himself and threw all those poor idiots under the bus. When Soon-Yi, Woody Allen's daughter/wife said " I am not a retarded hothouse flower raped by an evil stepfather" well - you get the idea.
Soon Yi and Woody - livin the dream, so happy together, such PDA body language
But c'mon, all the fun is with the way the world changes and we, we change with it. Now that we are post truthy, a lot of times people slip up and spurt the truth. Watching crypto videos makes this a sport. The interviewee is always there to a) see and be seen and self promote, and to b) shill their latest bag. Basically, human nature in action - no one smart tells you what they are thinking until after they have built up their position (and then it's just shilling.) But during the conversation, all these people are smart and are talking to other smart people, and they can't resist saying something smart / current / not yet really public trying to impress each other. Wall street chestnut #2002 - ya gotta take a position and say something, or be dismissed. Something cool on the cook that they have not yet monetized. Watch for these gems - they won't hammer them, it will be a small one-off comment.
Or, like us, toss us that ax Eugene, and skip the subtle nuances in the post logic world. These days?
or alternatively, viz. our true blue hero, Joe Biden. Skipping his denials on other topics, the really funny part is his videoed speech that his team has "put together the greatest voter fraud organization of all time." Yes Joe, and
the Fourth funniest thing in Crypto 2021 - nothing says " honest election" like total censorship and 25,000 troops in the capitol.
Number Three funniest thing in Crypto so far 2021 - following on the latest burst of believing what we are told - Yellen starts yellin. Yeah, tell us all about how terrorist Bitcoin is. Against all the data and facts but it's post truth time. Here's Janet back in 2017 ( in an AWESOME photo bomb, who WAS that dude, anyone know??) Oh, really, damnit Janet, are you all against auditing the organization you run? WHAT a shocker. WHO'D AA THUNK IT?!?!?!
Yes, Janet, we understand you never EVER think the people should know where all the money they provide goes. And now, as you prepare to print like no extant currency has ever printed before, you think we should view Bitcoin as terrorist. That's pretty funny. Sing it again Janet but try this time with the hat, cane and slapstick tap-dancing routine, SELL it damnit Janet, give us vim, vigor and vitality on stage!!
Which leads to #2 funniest crypto in 2021 - CHRISTINE LAGARDE ACTUALLY CALLED BITCOIN AN ESCAPE VALVE. She pretended to be referring to Bitcoin's (relatively minor) use in money laundering, but she was all "if there is an escape, it will be used" and the escape must be closed. Christine's lying old bitter conflicted kleptocratic subconscious was accidentally spitting the truth about bitcoin being a way out of the madness of the central banks hollowing out the world. What's really funny? well Max Keizer, he of the " orange pill" podcast, is a bitcoin billionaire now. HIs imitations of Christine are childish but fun. But Max's prediction that the Euro central bank will be the first central bank to fail (need a massive "reset") is a lovely (counter) punchline to those who think.
Which leads to the number one funniest Crypto event thus far in 2021 - Bitcoin enters the top ten currencies ( all others fiat) by worth. Holy chit, it is all actually happening. Cue the heavenly ethereal chorus, with harps n church organs. For a golden moment this month, all the Bitcoin in the world was worth more than #10 on the list, all the mexican pesos in the world. We had been belly laughing as Bitcoin flipped into the top ten stocks of all time. But if asked a month ago, guess we thought the global M1 was bigger than it was, in fact the numbers range all over, Bitcoin could be in 17th place or 6th place. Not to get ahead of ourselves, we think bitcoin only hit <~1% of the global money supply M1, but the idea now is that all but 10-20 currencies in the world are now basically obsolete. It's all true, we are starting to measure currencies by bitcoin, not vice versa. No wonder the central banks are chitting the bed.
This is a watershed touchstone moment. So many of Bitcoin's dreams have been shot or faded. Though it indeed cannot be censored, Bitcoin is not anonymous, more like it has a homing beacon strapped on. Bitcoin is not fungible, if we take bloody red dirty bitcoin profit from crime, we may just lose it even though it was not our crime. Bitcoin does not free us from dealing with banks, we still need fiat for coffee. Clearly putting our bitcoin in a wallet and messing up and losing it happens a lot and is stupider than leaving it at a major exchange. All of the above might not be any real concern when operating in a country where fiat has gone well to hell, e.g. Turkey.
But BTC entering the Fiat Top Ten - that's revolutionary, 24 carat satirical magic in the airrrrrrr!! and reignites pie in the sky, shining city on the hill dreams that could turn into laughing all the way to the hot wallet comedy. Jesus, what if the government could NOT just print up whatever hallucinatory cash the neocons wanted to help Merica go screw with the rest of the world? Before the Iraq "shock and awe" war, white house economic advisor Larry Lindsey estimated the war would cost ~200 billion USD. For his thoughts, Larry was promptly fired by Donald Rumsfeld, who said the cost would be 90% less, and then went on to run up a bill of 2,000 billion!
or, if you believe Nobel Prize winner Stiglitz, including the cost of care for GI's maimed by IEDs - "The Three Trillion Dollar War." We finally understand this big rock candy mountain dream - what if Rumsfield ordered the US Treasury to sneak him two trillion to go kill 500,000 people for the latest installment of endless war? The Fed prints the money, but by the time Rummy goes to Ratheon to buy some more tankie toys, the printed dollars deflated vs. Bitcoin by about the same amount printed!!??!! And let's face it, we bet all the really good arms dealers want to be paid in Bitcoin very soon if not already!!! Maybe the gummit would HAVE to have a bake sale to fund that new B1!!! Ah ha ha ha ha !!
For that to happen, BTC has to flip all the currencies. But if we are already in the top ten - wa hey look out above!!
Rummy It might be over. O VAH!!! It's OVAH Rummy!! No wonder the central banks, after being born for endless war, are now fixing bayonets.
This opens up the shining light to reconsider other holy grail possibilities written off as pipe dreams. One recurring theme of very smart, very serious people is that the government ultimately is guilty of stealing/wasting our time by sending false price signals and false signals of where to store value, thereby misdirecting our time and effort. Think Elon just said it too, only as a yardstick for currencies to compete on truth and low latency. Gonna have to have the writer pool work on that one for a while, we think it's funny but we don't understand for sure yet Really, THAT's the ultimate government crime our crypto thought leaders see ? Hah! wow. huh. thanks for the tips / likes / follows, and please keep us posted on the best crypto jokes. What's funny??!!?? Love, Dave