Hey Cryptolovers, we will always love y'all. We are your biggest fans! And (as the Elvis animatronic lion says at Chuck E Cheese's) "with fans like you who needs friends baby !?!!" Big love to Igor and all the publish0x bros and girlz, happy 2022 and please keep trying to school our fool asses!
So, back in the garage with a stank attitude and our bullshit detectors, turning them waaaaay up full to make sure that they're working, Jetcoin is brave enough to turn on the 0x spotlight and dance a few rounds under our gimlet eyes, good bless em, lord loves a trier!
We got all excited at the thought of finally being arsed to get an NFT, albeit on the Rinkydinklybee test network. Dear readers know from our offers to trade BUTT coin ( no reasonable offer rejected) that we are not AT ALL above the RInky testnet.
BUTT here's the thing. The ginger man who slid us the big bag of Rinkelby BUTT coin is MIA, and Mikey Novogratz, the self proclaimed oldest dude in crypto - he said no one over 50 gets NFTs. Mikey's a lot smarter than us and god it hurts to say this - is he right? We do love online contracts. Dear readers know our love for fully autonomous DeFi, a beautiful creation like a new life form striking fear into the heart of the SWIFT network. Non-custodial open source wallets freaking rock, etc etc.
NFT's on the other hand? Meh... NFT's do take the traditional money laundering of the art world to a whole meta dimension, so there's that. The old joke - man makes 50MM one year. Dude then commissions an artwork for 250K. Wines and dines art critics and appraisers for 100K. Artwork now valued at 50MM is donated to MOMA. The dude abides, paying zero taxes, @50% tax rate, we have profit = 24.650MM. In the NFT world the more traditional cash washing model is certainly seen. Simply take bundles of dirty cash to any art dealer or high end auction house! Guaranteed the slackest loosey goosey KYC you have ever seen and then when one SELLS the art the money came from a proceed of art sales!
But since we don't have gobs of hot cash, we don't care how to launder it. Still, seeing the crooked world of art dealing p-ssed us off in a weird way. We used to go to a cheezy christmas event to support the brooklyn museum back when it was boring. Eat rubber chicken with locals, get drunk on Dewars and look at a fabulous art collection, virtue signaling, walk home, always a great idea. One year all the tickets were sold out, WTF? As regulars at our ( not at all a prime position) table, we could not believe we could not buy tickets!!?? we went early in a nice suit to try and talk our way in. The event was transformed, all red carpet with free high end art giveaways, full on corporate photog catwalk. Our questions hit the wall for a while, until a snotty smug little corporate asshole broke down & laughed at us and told us that the whole event was invite only this year, and that We, the little people, were never ever ever ever gonna get in.
OK, f-ck that chit, never gave that museum a dime again, not that they cared, a great venue. But flash forward, we are at the pier show/ armoury something NYC art show. In Marion Broadskey's famous booth, stuffed raven frames that year. Lookie look, art made as a giveaway for one of those events. It's a round print by a Japanese artist we used to love, until we went to one too many of his exhibits at Rock Center and with our friends realized he was a pedophile. But back then we loved his work! so we look, no red dot. We ask if they are for sale, they are!!! How much are they? Not that much really, cheezy frame job but OK, wtf, we would like to buy one! Imagine our surprise when we were asked - who are you? WTF is this not america? We are a dumbass with a checkbook, standing in a booth trying to buy art you just said is for sale!!??!! Sorry, that wasn't good enough. It's not for sale to you, little one. This is the guanxi art world. And you ain't getting in like that.
We ended up scoring one of the prints on Ebay from a creative that swiped it from an event, so it all worked out, but what a bad taste from a harsh lesson, and scr-w you Marion. Tho, on the other hand god bless you Marion, we did learn to kiss art gallery ass with the correct attitude when trying to buy popular Japanese prints from non-pedo artists (nara: guitar girl):
But skipping our social dysfunction, here's the real deal - truely, our lizard brain does not get the NFT. Lizard brain hates to let go of good paintings or prints, not sure lizard believes nice art photographs are that important and will not re-emerge in "new editions" overnight. To lizard brain, tho, JPEG is every bit as good as a tiff or a jiff pdf wtf. If we need a higher res print cause we are shrink wrapping the car/ house accent wall / giant sales banner outside Jacob Javits, whatever, we get one. Lizard brain thinks a perfect digital copy is, well, a perfect copy. We do not get any more pleasure from thinking we are the only person in the world that owns that copy. Hell the american dream was once the king and the shoeshine boy drinking the same copy of a coca cola. Ya sure we would like to flip smoking monkees for zillions and use them for our twitter icon. Except, we don't really. The flipping is an insider's game for the most part, we are just jealous but we don't care.
Whooo boy, so, JetNFT right? Kinda just like trading cards, ya? no, no, nooo - we never liked trading cards. yes, we loved detroit sports teams and can recite starting lineups from last century but trading cards naaah not so much. We remember that stale, nasty hard bubblegum that shattered when dropped, and a few loser Topps cards, duplicates, who cares, the feeling of being used for our thirty five cents. Ya we remember respecting a degen nephew for running arbitrage across playing card dealers before he turned pro at poker. And god bless the wall street / city aphorism that points out the SEC cannot even actually legally regulate playing card trading. But overall, a rich kid's game, just like Pokemon decades later, where the really rich pavlovian loser kids want the super high elite marketed card packs blaaargh. An NFT of a MacLaren? Sorry, lizard brain would MUCH rather have a Hot Wheels / matchbox / dinky toys version. And we freaking LOVE McLarens. We once saw Puff Diddy in an orange McLaren on the NYC east side highway, he sped all alone away from the crowd behind him, his throaty loud pipes ripping the air. We punched the 650 Kawasaki and caught up with Puff's McLaren to flash him the peace sign, accidentally scared the shit out of him, thought he would wreck with a heart attack, guess Puffy thought we were a hit man, dunno, those mclarens are very low to the ground ya really look down over them when ya look in we reckon.
OK ok JetNFTs we got so much baggage we can't even get on the plane here. Let's go to the Jetcoin ( damn good name, looks great on sports banners) website. TLDR they gotta lightpaper, ok let's go. Oh f-ck man, it's all soccer all the time. Did we mention how soccer is a dystopian nihilist futuristic endless boring nightmare, popularized deliberately by Europe as a crushing existentialist morality play about the futility of war? Tiny figures move alone across a huge, alienating field, rarely touching, oh boy they almost had a chance to try and score. But then they didn't, cause it's all futile. All the flags of all the different countries look just the same, because conflict is verboten, don't even try too hard, like oh I don't know DON'T USE YOUR HANDS LIKE EVERY OTHER GD SPORT IN THE @^#@*&^$$(@ WORLD FER CHRISSAKES. Meanwhile so many soccer fans we meet are racist assaholics, sometimes even elitist limo activists ultimately funding suicide bombings for the youth - arrrgh cmon skip that!! Of course, in soccer flopping is an art form, where a player rolls around in pretend agony from some invisible injury ( maybe the other guy used his hands? dunno.) Then when the ref calls a penalty, the player jumps up and laughs and dances around like a three year old. Lizard brain is NOT there for that. In ice hockey, that's a diving infraction, faking an injury gets you two minutes in the sin bin plus later a vicious high stick crosscheck from the other team's enforcer. And the refs just might not see that one boy, we say bwah.
The Jetcoin litepaper, then, right? OK, it's a little light on tech let's go to the real whitepaper and read some soothing tech. Wait what is this undigestible copypasta in the "full" whitepaper? Without anyone mentioning what the (@#&*!@#(N "the BC" is we have this " One can think of BSC as a complementary network to the BC. BSC leverages interoperability so users can swap a handful of assets within the network. "
man that's so suspect we gotta google it. Where was that copied from ? Well it is not quite a googlewhack, that copypasta shows up one other place in the whole wide world - in blockchain works, a blockchain job site, lightly seasoned with articles by stringers including one Jose Oramas. Hmm Jose does not seem to work at JetNFT so really JetNFT could ya not steal better copypasta from a classier source? Now we question the dangling unpunctuated ending of the whitepaper, ("Jetcoin Institute is endeavoring to revolutionize the lucrative fields of sports and music and invites all ") it screams unfinished. C'mon dudes, pay some english majors some more money please??!!?? at least take the easy way out, hire a proofreader and add an ellipsis... :-}
OK we are just foul now, we admit it, we are going down, let's show some pride. So linked in, who does work at JetNFT? We see the main dude Eric Alexandre, with marketing chops and a team. We also see one programming dude who has been grinding on Jetcoin for a few years, and here, a spark of light comes in ! We know we are not the target market, but the one techno bro has the first intelligent elevator speech for Jetcoin we have seen there in his job description:
Individuals and their projects can be proposed or sourced via the Jetcoin Institute or by referral. Individuals backed by the Jetcoin Institute will in return give a part of their rights. As the individuals mature in their respective fields, they generate revenues that are distributed to Jetcoin owners.
Allright Aurelian, Jetcoin lead blockchain dev! Ya got no last name, no picture, few visible colleagues, but finally we understand the value prop, thank you!!
Jetcoin's official best shot for us: the most important people in this system—the fans who play a vital role in wealth creation—are currently nowhere in the picture with respect to wealth distribution. Well, Jetcoin, ya got a great point there. The music industry is so broken, the only way a band gets paid anymore is touring, where the fan directly gives money to the bands. Copyright lawyers have created the perfect storm, where artists don't get paid AND the people don't get music. Coming to Euroland was a horrible shock - all our favorite playlist apps don't work in the EU, where the lawyers have beat everyone down. All those years of shouting "Pandora! play punk rock love songs!!" ended. No, really, and worse yet here's the saddest deal - every shitty European (in my pool) cafe where the janitor has a radio playing gets crushed by some visiting asshat lawyer, tagging the establishment with a copyright payment rate bigger than their net profit. Result? Every GD broken little food hut now has recordings that are copyright free. We've all heard them - the popular hits covered by complete idiots ( vs. the original artists.) At first our brain fills in the real pop tune - we know it, you've heard it. A personal nightmare. Then our brain starts gagging on the diet of high fructose corn syrup fake muzak & goes into a mental seizure jesus save us Jetcoin save us. Now we have trouble just walking by the door and hearing the muzak.
So, wth, we can just see thru our personal painful fog how Jetcoin could work. Jetcoin slags all of the famous agents abusing athletes and musicians, like mikey tyson, Elvis, etc. Of course those artists were doing a lotta drugs, biting ears and getting higher than high onto death while carrying an honorary DEA badge, so two sides to every story, but it's a dream. Britney deserves to squander her money more than her agent does. And we have a dream - some way, any way to channel soccer hooliganism into something modern and positive.
Crowdsourcing is so often so MUCH more correct than any other approach, so come seven come eleven Jetcoin baby!! Hells, artists are now having their fans source album art decisions - almost certainly usually an improvement. Glad to see Jetcoin has funds allocated for "tuning" the ecosystem, hope those folk are smarter than smart and can wrestle human good and money out of this blockchain prop. Personally, we think Jetcoin should include financing royalties from an artists published works, like the Bowie bonds, there is a thing there somewhere. Not that we totally understand it, but it's out there. Carry on our wayward Jetcoin - we know we are not the target market, and that's OK. Biz plan - sign contracts, issue NFTs and Jetcoin, ???, steal underpants, ?? britney ???, PROFIT!!!
Of course dear readers know the proof of a value prop is eventually on coingekko. Mostly noise on this signal so far tho
Jetcoin's twitter says they are launched on Binance? on Uni we thought? but the Gecko don't see it, only two unknown exchanges, Mercatox and Probit Global, we ain't gonna go there so we gotta watch and hope.
Thanks Jetcoin, hold on tight to your dreams, don't listen to crabby doubters, create the future ya wanna see!! peace out Dave