Focusing on anything when one has anxiety can be a tricky thing. Add to that formula some neuro issues and a healthy dose of ADD and you have got yourself some interesting times going on!

Now let’s go back to the word, “focus.” I have many problems focusing not only due to an illness I’ve been struggling with for a few years now, but also have a bit of ADD as well. (I’m a mess)

Sleep is where I have some major issues. Well, make that, GOING to sleep is where I have some major issues. I could be tired to the point of falling asleep with my fingers on the keyboard while sitting straight up but as I get up to just brush my teeth real fast suddenly my brain thinks it’s time to bring up every anger inducing memory imaginable. Fights from years ago are suddenly so real I get as angry as I did back then. I come up with new rebuttals, I rehash entire scenarios, I relive every second as if it is happening right there in the present time. This can happen almost every night no matter how good of a day I’ve had.

So how to come down from such anger to finally get back to that moment of my eyes closing and the better mood I was in before I brushed my teeth?

A big help is good old fashioned solitaire. While the rest of the world is out there crushing candy, I’m here playing a game that even before computers, I’d spend hours upon hours playing with real actual cards. (Remember those?)

Here’s what I have learned by playing it again...

As fast as I try to finish a game, I still have to stop and take in the whole picture: Many times I rush through it and because I do, I miss key moves that cost me the win. So as much as I like to give myself a quick time limit, I need to force myself to slow down, breathe and study what is in front of me.

As long as I’m playing the game, I can’t think of anything else: I concentrate on the cards in front of me and challenge only myself. I am not fighting the world or the memories that are trying to creep in, but instead wondering if the ace of clubs is under that jack of diamonds.

Ideas will come to me: Even though I am fully concentrating on the game, sudden ideas will pop into my head. Suddenly a topic to write about or a promotion idea for my vintage business will sneak in and I’ve found that many times, it’s one that I had never thought of before. But because my mind is clear and the logical side is busy with the game, it’s allowing the creative side to open up and discover new avenues. When that happens, I make sure to pause the game and jot them down quickly so I don’t forget them and revisit them the next day.

I’ve found that most times I fall asleep while playing and will wake up literally with my fingers on the screen from my last move. It will take a split second to put the phone or tablet down, roll over and go into a deep sleep. No more memories of angry times; no fights being played out in my head; no anxiety keeping me awake. Just a deep sleep and open to dreams that I may not have been open to before because they were blocked by such harsh emotions.

Now is this for everyone? Of course not. I’m only sharing what has helped me because it’s not something that anyone would normally think about. Who would think that an old school game would help in such a way? That placing card in a special order would free the mind up for a restful journey into dreamland? Not me!

But here I am to say, if you too are having some issues clearing your mind up before attempting sleep, why not try a repetitive game such as solitaire? There is no leveling up. No “I’ll just get to level 13 and then call it quits...ok level 14...and so on.” This is a a one and done.

Oh and one more bonus to this...there’s no social interaction to distract you. I play offline so I can’t be interrupted by ads or someone texting or wanting to just check my email one last time before I go to sleep. I play; I tune out; I drift off.

Hope you can too!

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Thanks for reading and I hope you’ll come follow along with me as I write about whatever comes to mind.