…

As I was saying, people were shouting “special guards!” are here.

When you are protesting in Iran, there are always 2 types of forces are which you should be worried about. Even though the real police and army forces are not difficult and dangerous, the “special guards” and “Plainclothes” are the ones to be afraid of and they have no problem shooting you in the head…

The special guards are in fact “Iranian Police Special Units”, the most ruthless forces, that their exact job is dealing with riots and suppressing street marches.

My eyes were watering, the tear gas had done its job. I had heard that tear gas not only makes the eyes water, but also triggers the release of a hormone in the body that causes fear, and indeed I was scared at that moment, despite the tremendous adrenaline flowing in my veins.  

My body was shaking, but my will and perseverance pushed me to stay. People dispersed and we ran into an alley with a group of young people. Our way was blocked by extremists and Plainclothes, they attacked people shouting horrible insults and beating up, trampling everybody in their way.

I remember as I was trying to save myself, in the crowd I saw a stream of blood. A little further, the horrifying truth was lying on the ground, as a young man, his face was covered in blood, I screamed and asked people to help him, I was in a hysteric state. My feet couldn’t move and everything was in slow-motion… as I saw a bunch of Plainclothes dragged his half-dead body and took him away and I did nothing…

Blood was flowing from his body and people were trying to free him from the clutches of the savage armed forces.

Every time I tried to get close to him, it was as if he was so far away and there were so many people that I could not reach him. But in reality, it was happening right in front of me.

Have you ever had a nightmare, and not being able to wake up as the ugly monster is suffocating you and nothing is in your control? I was having that nightmare, in broad daylight… I was feeling so frustrated, helpless, and useless as if I was a coward for not running to aid the young man.

Anyway, beaten, tired, and scarred, as my hijab was strewn with colored bullets, I found myself in an alley, safe with some boys and girls whom I did not even know, and I continued to march with them… I was about to have a different experience at a protest …