What is the significance of our actions. Lives are constantly changing, dying, and being born, nothing is constant here. It's like seasons, things move and change with some of them being things we love and some of them being things we hate and some of them being things we love. We are not real though as we are borrow this body and mind and everything for right now, after we are gone we are farther than the body, the mind, emotion but we associate it with ourselves every day, we should do the best for what we are borrowing as this is not ours right? So why do we self sabotage, create negative spaces of anxiety depression agony? I've just been in and out of agony as of recent and I think I am controlling my mind into finding the way back to stable sanity living, I've concluded that within the mind if you feed it right it will move right, if you feed it badly you will not move right. Feeding the mind is a metaphor for the thoughts which we present inside of our minds, a lot of our thoughts are unbeneficial but they are fine, if they are unbeneficial but are causing feeling of agony, anger, sadness then they are not needed, when we have issues with thoughts in our minds it is dependent on something else that you are scared of because you cannot control it, if you could control it you would get it over with or feel darkness rather than agony and anger and sadness as they only come when you have effort to be happy, if you have no effort then you are dehumanized while your body is here your not alive, if you do not posses what humans posses and suppress them then you are pushing yourself back unamnifest, it's like commiting suicide just in a way you can swallow like vapes that are sour patch kid flavored. As these thoughts are dependent we also have to understand that we could easily fall into these thoughts, it's the need to feel happy that makes us not so miserable that we will spend all our days bedridden. If we keep that need in rotation and only ask for positive thoughts and only think positive and wise about things then you won't have any bad thoughts, if you make happiness a habit then you will be happy, you will just have to undo your old habits of pain. We cannot restrict our self in any way from the ultimate goal of joy. I was thinking about what would happen if my family dies and then there will be no one left for me and I didn't do enough for them, If I think positively and wisely though I figure out that I can't be afraid of the inevitable and my family will only be in a better state, I'll find a women make some kids, spread my parents teachings and doings on to them, and then when I'm gone there are no worries about family, They may not remember me, I may not remember them, but everything is done for them and that will affect them positively and me positively knowing I am giving back to the ones who gave to me and the ones who gave to me are being given, if I die before then they will know how deeply I cared for them and tried to improve their lives. It's nothing to worry about as these things are just fathomable thought, if I cannot understand thought and truth then I must liberate myself from the automation of the mind to only bring what's wanted, practice makes perfect so I will just have to practice my mind to focus good and find good and do good and try good and give good and live good. Not everything is good but it's all good, my family is good if I am good, my family is good so I have to be good.