A Vulgar Review of a Crypto Virgin's Portfolio: Week One

By Vulgar Username | Vulgar Content | 5 May 2021


Drake fucked up when he embedded the phrase YOLO into my brain at a young age...





With not nearly enough research put into things, I've invested a few hundred dollars worth of crypto on Coinbase.

I've watched a couple dozen hours worth of youtube videos, guides, vlogs, updates, whatever-the-fucks about cryptocurrency. Lots of content about Cardano, Litecoin, the concept of proof-of-stake, shit like that.

I've scrolled forums and read articles on sites like this one you're reading on right now, for headache inducing hours into the night.

After doing what I feel like is due dilligence, do I know how any of this shit works?

No. No not really.

That being said, it's fun to watch my portfolio number go up and pretend I know what I'm looking at. I give myself undeserved pats on the back when things are going well, and pledge to "dollar cost average" whenever things aren't going well.

It's become pretty fun to refresh Twitter to see what folks think about the most recent Bitcoin dip. I have a vested interest in what used to be dumb crypto conversations to me. And if I'm being honest, I'm sitting here foolishly hoping that this bull run will produce some short term gains for me, which I hope to snowball into larger gains. But hey, we're all investing in cryptocurrency for some reason or another, right? And if it's between this and a crippling sports betting addiction, fuck it, I'll go with crypto.




ADA - 75 ADA - AVG. COST: $1.31



COSMOS - 2 ATOM - AVG COST: $21.80


ANKR - 100 ANKR - AVG COST: $0.18


A brief breakdown of my logic behind each investment.

ADA is a no brainer, popular choice to be the next big ting. It's cheap enough to buy into and still have the potential for massive gains. Has clear and established value, has been described as a stable coin even due to it's sideways pricing of late. Fuck it. I really like ADA, I'm buying every single dip, and looking to convert my remaining BTC into ADA soon.

Bitcoin I mean...it's BTC. I grabbed some when it dipped hard earlier today, but honestly I don't feel like keeping my money in it. I just know that 60k is not going to be the all time high, and once it begins to break out again I'm converting to ADA. I think it'll blow past 60k but won't stay for long, and it's resting corrected price may end up somewhere below 50k.

Stellar Lumens. A popular choice. Cheap, huge potential upside. Almost hit a dollar, can easily do it again in this market and blow past it. 

Cosmos and Algorand I'm staking, the APY isn't too bad and I like both of their white papers.

ANKR is a get rich quick attempt, won't be shy about that one.



Everyone, feel free to shred my picks to pieces. They're bad. I know I'm not a 180 IQ investor. Or perhaps inform me that I'm actually extremely talented at this crypto trading shit in which case I will be quitting my day job.




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Vulgar Username
Vulgar Username

Brevity is the wit of man. I am not very witty.

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Vulgar Content

I write about a whole lot of things and a whole lot of nothing at the same time. If you find any portion of what I write valuable, my time writing was well spent.

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