(this is the very first thing I have ever posted on the Internet, basically 4chan's /k/ board (Weapons) has come into possession of a nuclear bunker in Colorado Springs & they have discovered a strange ring made out of an unknown alloy on the underground level 16, in other words 4chan now runs the Stargate program)

>Day 21
>after the initial attack by Goa'uld our /k/ommandos needed to take a couple days off to calm down their moto-boners, after which they went to work with enthusiasm I am not too sure is on a healthy level, after tacticooling every single M16 in the base's armory some of our forces moved on to experiment with chunks of weapons-grade naquadah wrapped in C4, the tests have typically been carried out in other worlds & so far we have managed to accidentally start & finish five wars, each one in a matter of minutes. Last week we got reinforcements from Balkans, kebab was removed from the DFAC menu by the next morning. Half of our Russian personnel is in the brig while the other half is in county sheriff's drunk tank, our Finnfags seem to be planning something in relation to that, what that is we don't know, but the fact that they have requisitioned all of the distilling equipment in the laboratories suggest they are planning to throw a party. I should probably call the sheriff again to discuss our dear /k/omrades' bail before the preparations for the party are finished...

>Day 28
>I don't know how, but our Polish /k/ommandos managed to steal a Ha'tak and fly it to Earth, I guess Poland can into space, our supply team is scrounging to find enough "Polish Space Marines" -patches for the Marine detachment we are going to place onboard "/k/urwa", our 'muricans are jelly while our few Japanese are preparing their 50th proposal for a mecha capable of limited space travel, while the idea sounds interesting I'm afraid that I'll have to turn down that proposal as well due to insufficient funds and lack of facilities suitable for manufacturing these things, our best option for gaining access to the required manufacturing capacity disappeared along with the planet after someone 'found' the 6th naquadah charge that had eluded us ever since the tests were canceled & set it off by accident while visiting a naquadah mine...

>day 100
>Goa'uld sent an invasion fleet, our Poles onboard /k/urwa put up a brave fight, charging the enemy fleet in the best Polish WoT -player tradition before being predictably annihilated, things looked pretty dire until our Finnish psy-war reinforcements from /b/ started broadcasting spurdo- and dolan -videos translated into Goa'uld on all frequencies our reverse-engineered Goa'uld communicators could transmit on, it seems that half of the Jaffas in the fleet committed suicide while half of the rest fled, the rest surrendered.

>Day 150
>our alpen/k/ommandos have all been transferred to the Alpha site after an unfortunate incident few days ago when they ran out of beer & raided a local brewery (and here I was expecting our first instance of "pillaging & burning" to be carried out by our Nordic forces...), the Finnfags' stills have been transferred off-world as well. Our /k/ommandos are feared by everyone they encounter off-world, which so far has been working to our advantage, though those pesky desk-jockeys in Pentagon keep nagging at me over it, something about winning the hearts and minds of those oppressed by the Goa'uld or sum shit...

>Day 200
>After long searching we managed to locate our Swiss forces, they have opted out of all operations & done their own thing (what ever that is, making money hiding Nazi gold probably-) because they are too neutral to care. We have had to assign the Israeli /k/ommandos new quarters (again-) because of /b/alkan guys constantly mistaking them for kebabs & we'd prefer if our Israeli didn't massacre them as a result of one of those incidents...

>Day 210
>After rising tensions between our various groups it was decided to form an intelligence agency/secret police to detect any potential problems before they turn into real problems, so far the staff consists mostly of former officials from Stasi and KGB with a few tax collectors mixed in, a word among the /k/gb operatives is that these tax collectors were involved in the successful search for and later capture of bin-Laden, if so they seem to stand up to their reputation of never letting anyone escape...