For most of us, coming of age and becoming adults meant packing our things, moving out of the parents' home and claiming our own stake elsewhere. The first month on your own is always exciting. You got that sense that you were free to do whatever you wanted. No one is yelling at you anymore to clean up your room or take out the garbage. Invite all your friends over and throw a couple of parties.

Everything's going great until the beginning of the second month. Then the bills start rolling in...

The rent is due. The electric bill is due. The gas bill is due. The credit card bill came in because you charged your groceries on it. Suddenly, your bank account is drained. You have no money left to buy gas for the car. Shute, the insurance bill is due next month! You'll have to put in lots of overtime to make up the difference. Suddenly, you have no money and your precious time is being spent working overtime to make more money and the more you'll earn, the more taxes you'll pay. Gosh, you might have to get a second job (and pay even more in taxes).

Does all this sound familiar to you? It was basically how I started out. Almost immediately, I fell into debt after I moved out all those years ago and for several years afterwards, I struggled to make ends meet. Only in more recent times have I realized the mistake I made. I should have stayed with my parents, helped them pay the bills while I would have had the chance to save and invest. Things would have turned out much differently and I would've been much happier, I'm sure.

If you're young, still living with your parents and reading this, I hope the points I'm trying to get across will help you determine which choices to make regarding whether you should stay at home or move out. The points outlined below should give you plenty of reasons to stay put. Once on your own, you'll be responsible with ensuring the bills are paid on time and you'll just annoy your parents if you keep running to them for financial help.

1: Most rentals require two months payment up front. Rents have skyrocketed. If the rent per month is $1,200, then you need to fork out $2400 up front. Do you have an extra $2,400 to spare at the moment?

2: Furniture... You'll need a new living room set, a new kitchen set, a new bedroom set, TV, radio, coffee maker, microwave oven, can opener, etc, etc... I think $3,000 is in the ball park for all these goodies. Mind you, you could always find used goods in a thrift store for far less but you'll still have to pay.

3: Groceries... Have you noticed food prices lately. You're going to have to make sure you have enough money left over to buy your essentials such as food, toiletries, cleaning supplies and such.

4; Once on your own, you'll have to start buying up tools such as hammer, screwdrivers, wrenches, lawnmower, weed eater and so on. You'll have to learn quickly how to fix things yourself because you'll likely not going to be able to afford hiring a plumber to unclog a pipe. It takes years to build up a solid tool supply. 

5: Location... Do you really want to live in a cockroach infested highrise? This happened to me 25 years ago. I lived on the top floor (14th). What a pain in the ass it was hauling my groceries up the elevator. Then, there's the neighbors above or beside you in a heated argument and yelling at the top of their lungs. Ah, the neighbors. Some of them are really sketchy.

6: The bills... You've already got a cell phone bill. Then, there's the internet itself. Netflixx seems to be raising their fees often lately. Many rentals charge extra for water, electricity, gas and heating.

7: The job... Are you earning enough pay to cover all the costs associated with living on your own? No job is secure. Will you still be working 6 months from now? If you signed a 1 year lease and lose your job in 6 months, you are committed to paying the rent until the lease runs out.

I can probably add another point or two but I think the 7 points above get the point across. Now I'd like to point out the fantastic benefits of staying put with your parents.

1: No rent or mortgage to pay. Wow, can you imagine that? As an adult, you should pay your fair share with the groceries and the bills so that your parents too can enjoy the benefits of keeping the family together. You'll find it's a fraction of what you'd pay if you were on your own. This will allow you to save extra every month instead of going into the hole. 

2: One set of utility bills. Let's say you have a sibling (or two or three) and you all moved out. Now, you all have separate water, gas, electricity and internet bills.You're going to have to work longer hours to cover all those costs. Whereas, living with your parents, there's only one set of bills which reduces costs considerably. Always remember to pay your fair share of the bills. One internet connection instead of 3 or 4 makes much more sense to me.

3: All that furniture you'd otherwise need on your own is already there. Same goes for all of Dad's tools.

4: Costs are reduced across the board, meaning you don't have to work extra hours to make ends meet. Heck, you might be able to get away with just having a part-time job, spending more time with family and friends, exercising, playing sports and just plain having fun. If only I could go back in time with what I know now. I spent so much of my precious time working overtime to earn a little extra to pay the bills. And remember, the more time you put in, the more you get taxed.

5: Happiness or misery. There were some good times living on my own. I did try to make the best of it but the truth is, I constantly worried about making ends meet. We all know by now that stress kills. If you can avoid this kind of stress, you'll likely add years to your life.

6: Family comes first. Up until the 1930's, it was more common than not to see large families living together. Since then, it seems we've been conditioned to believe it's normal to move out as soon as we come of age. Somebody's been profiting huge all this time from this myth, mainly the banks. It's no secret that most people are in debt trying to make ends meet and the  real secret to end this indebtedness once and for all is family! Stick together and keep the family strong. By sharing all the costs under one household, the family unit will keep getting stronger.

7: The chance to save, save, save. Reduce your cost of living by staying put with your parents. If you're out on your own already, ask if your parents would consider an arrangement to take you back. They're getting older. I'm sure they could use the help around the house. Life has gotten much more expensive for them as well. All involved will be able to save a ton of money in the short and long term. If parents are unavailable, consider asking a sibling or cousin or aunt and uncle.

Our world has been turned upside down by this pandemic. Now, more than ever, we need each other and to help each other make ends meet, to survive and to live healthy, meaningful lives. I believe that family is the answer. Throughout our society, the family unit has suffered and now, we're paying a heavy price as a result. By reuniting our families, we give ourselves the chance to prosper  but just as important, we can reconnect with the ones we love the most. If you've got little kids of your own, I'm sure their grandparents would love to spend more time with them, see them grow up.

Always remember that once you've moved back in, to do your fair share around the house. You're not a little kid anymore. Don't wait for Mom to ask you to take out the garbage. Clean up after yourself. Make up your own bed. Tell Dad you'll cut the grass this week. In fact, take them out for dinner once a month as special thanks for all they've done for you.

So there you have it. These are my thoughts on moving back in with your parents and keeping the family unit strong and healthy. I wish I would have thought of all this 35 years ago. Things would have turned out much differently for me but I have no regrets. Now, I can share my experiences with the next generation so that hopefully, many of you will avoid the pitfalls I had to go into.

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