Oof. 😭

Oh man. Now THIS is comedy. Check out anti magic white weenie.


The shots just bounced off our boy.


My damn tablet has developed quite the delay with the screen-shotting, so I am sorry to say, and this pains me greatly..

I did not capture whatever magic +1 little dude in the back row my opponent had there.

My fuckin guys decimated his asshole to oblivion, nigh instantaneously.

Alas, poor magic'y guy (or chick, I don't discriminate) for we hardly knew ye.

The point is be it chick or dude, or some hybrid there, in the back position there, you know..

I'm not trying to be crass here but, well, there's only one way to say this..

That character that was supposed to be +2 magic, well, it basically got broomstick raped by my sneak dude there. πŸ˜†

Hahaha. Ahh, fuck you.

*waves hand dismissively*

I'm laughin. πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ


Ok sweethearts. Till the mood strikes again.

As I say in MTG matches, down at the old shop, Dreamers, to an opponent during pre-release;

"It would be disingenuous to wish you luck in our bout here. However, I wish you luck against your other opponents, and I hope it's a good game and neither of us get screwed."

I feel the same with you splinterlands folk.

I like the nail biters, ya know?

Hey if you're new, hi, I'm an idiot but I might have an idiots guide to not wasting $$ in the ol noggin.

You see, I wasted some money. πŸ’°

Quite a lot of it. (For me) if this one transaction thing doesn't get resolved.

More to come on that stuff.

Sorry I get sweary.. if that bugs ya. Pretty low brow, bottom of the barrel stuff. It's how I write though because we fuckin say nuclear winter shit over here in the ol' Haverstock homestead.

Boy howdy.

REAL transgressive stuff. Like, stuff I'd never write here in a million years. I dunno. I have some kinda A-typical schitzoaffective dealy-do what kinda shuts off a part of my brain that processes stuff like offense.. different.

In short it makes me laugh and laugh. πŸ˜‚


I don't think I can help that. Like people who are born gay, sucking dicks and shit. Ya know? Getting fucked hard in the ass.

-Now, to me, why that sounds like the last thing I'd wanna do. I want nothing to do with some, fat, juicy, beautiful delicious cock, I ain't GAY!Β 

(Yes, that is word for word stolen from my spirit animal and imaginary mentor, one Norm Macdonald.πŸ˜„)


Man I'm gonna miss that old chunk of coal. 😒

I'm seriously starting a guild.

Depends if it's 2,000 dec or 20,000 but it's like the first thing I'm gonna do. * I just looked it up, it's 10,000.. I like to do my editing later in the day πŸ˜…*

I just crossed the 2,000 threshold actually. πŸ†πŸ™πŸ™‡β€β™‚οΈ thank you! thank you! No pictures, please. ☺

Naw, I mean I'd buy a bunch more but I can't figure the UUGH the fucking .. I don't even KNOW what you call this shit, I gotta buy the one thing to buy the other thing I can use to buy the actual thing.

Yeah, sorry. That's not happening any time soon. Not when I'm out basically 60$ from trying to get 'fancy' with it and buying Coins or Currency.. fuck.. you know the name of the stuff. Credit. πŸ™„

Anyway... tried the 'Pay With Etherium' option. πŸ™„ Next thing you know the bar goes all the way up slowly like, "πŸ‘goin' GOODπŸ€ͺπŸ‘" Then finishes. πŸ˜œπŸ‘"oookaaay!!"

Loading screen with the teeth. "Deere it gooesπŸ€ͺ"

(Those are meant to be read doing my really really spot on 'downs syndrome character, he's a hoot!)


Cut to 40 minutes later, I'm thinking the thing needs to be refreshed πŸ™„ I check Coinbase. Coinbase says "yep. It went through fine".

So I wait another ten agonizing minutes..😬

Ok, I guess I'll refesh it.. πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

I'll shortcut the story to; I briefly got 1/2 my $60 back or actually I dunno.. it disappeared.

Waiting to hear back from the dude, I had to bug him again.

He thought I bought $25 and didn't pay the 6$ gas fees. Actually I tried to buy $50 and even though I forgot the term 'gas fee' I basically accounted for that with the $10 extra, so I don't know WHAT the fuck.

I'm poor, 60$ is a bunch of money for a man-child. πŸ˜’

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Whitney John Haverstock
Whitney John Haverstock

I am a 40 fledgling comedian who lives at home with his mother. Way I see it, We're stuck by an invisible force onto an impossibly verdant sphere, hurtling ever faster through outer space, so.. I try not to take anything too seriously. Go crypto!

Splinterlands comedy hour
Splinterlands comedy hour

Hey folks. πŸ‘‹ My name is Whitney Haverstock and despite my cruel joke of a name, I'm a dude. Boy named Sue situation. Grade school was rough, but I don't begrudge it. Life's horrors served to slant me towards comedy as a coping mechanism. Meh. I'm having fun with it. What else... πŸ€” Oh, I just turned 40. Norm Macdonald died on my birthday..πŸ˜” He was more than a personal hero, dude was my spirit animal. Whole reason I started doing stand-up a year or so ago. -right before the plague and subsequent fires.

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