When I turned 50 I needed to renew my US Passport since had been lost or stolen for quite some time. They required me to provide them a list of addresses for each location that had ever lived since birth. In doing so,  I decided to try and recall something significant about my life during each year I’ve been here on the planet. So I started to track dates and addresses. I’ve lived starting with where I was born on through each place I’d lived to the present.  My family moved ‘29 times since my parents 30 year marriage. Since leaving home I’ve moved at least that many times. 

In the beginning, It was really just a fun exercise but the puzzle forced me to recall many many things from my past.  Little did I know I was on a journey. A very intense spiritual journey within.  

I began to track each address chronologically but Instead of the highlights, I began to recall painful  issues from my childhood right on through to my professional life. Soon, after only a few diary entries, there became crying and weeping and gnashing of teeth!  Shame; obstinance; disappointment in myself and others caused me to isolate from my friends and family. I realized that every one of these things had to eventually come to rest. 

It took me 35 years of pretty hard drinking to realize that my life had become unmanageable. My drug of choice was booze. Was I an alcoholic? I was somewhat familiar with 12 step programs having been remanded to attend 100 AA meetings by the Judge who also sentenced me to a $2000 fine and 2 years probation.  I received my 1st DWI in the summer I graduated from University. What a way to start you career! Fortunately no one was injured at all. I was pulled over for weaving.

Considering the fact that we are inhabitants of a tiny planet on the very edge of one of the smallest of hundreds of thousands of simultaneous universes continues to hurtle onward in an ever expanding universe and the Great Unknown. We’re hurtling through space on the outer edge of the ever expanding universe. Scientists have long said that there are billions and billions of stars in the universe. In the 21st Century. Metaphysicians now tell us that there could be billions of universes making up the galaxy. Although we only see about 5-6k stars at a time with the naked eye. And the entire heavens are held in perfect order forever and ever by Providence and Spirit.

A vast number of us suffer, ruminations, anxiety, duality of the carnal mind and ego run amuck. We must be vigilant and remember that we are not our thoughts and ruminations. We are not our Ego. Many of the conditions we needed in our youth, we don’t need any longer. This is true catharsis. We learn to be kind to ourselves.Through vigorous honesty one can come to the precipice of a cathartic release. And with God’s Grace we become open to the possibility of universal consciousness.

Who could blame you for having these feelings? Humanity is infused in a morass of negativity. In an era of never ending wars and continuous exposure to #FakeNews propaganda. Who or what is to be trusted to speak the truth?

The enlightened Self cannot hold on to all of the pains of the past. In order to succeed, or recover from a hardship or defect of character, One must really have a sincere longing for personal development. We must willingly pick up the mantle of self mastery with persistence and discipline; learning to understand what and how you are as our True Selves.

“An unexamined mind is not worth living.” - Socrates

Think of the ego as your seeing eye dog. Constantly on the lookout for trouble. For example alcoholics and addicts in recovery are described as having “let their egos run rampant”. They’ve conditioned their “seeing eye dog” from an attentive service animal into a angry vicious German shepherd. Negativity is a psychic pollutant and totally unnatural. Negativity has accumulated in the collective human psyche.

For the greater good, if not for ourselves; we must strive to overcome and transcend the ego.

Where can we turn for help when we feel we're at the absolute end of our rope? Firstly, one must Heed to that still small voice coming from the very nucleus of your heart - Examine and Organize your Authentic Self. Experience the Self behind False Self.

For Fellowship? For advice? Mentorship? A counselor, a bishop or pastor?

Stay Tuned for Part 2