Bones. Calcium carbonate and calcium phosphate. Some of my favorite skeletons include that of Aaron Kelly from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, the "Partytime" Skeleton from the 1985 film Return of the Living Dead, and of course Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen from the SpongeBob Squarepants episode "One Krabs Trash."
Because I enjoy skeletons so much and Halloween is only 147 days away, I thought it only appropriate to take this Sunday evening and share some of my favorite skeleton jokes.
How do skeletons receive messages?
By skelegram!
Why did the skeleton go to the doctor?
Because he was coffin! (coughing)
What did the skeleton's wife say when she served him dinner?
Bone appetite!
What make and model vehicle do skeletons drive?
A Dodge Scare-avan!
Why did the skeleton become a radio announcer?
Because he didn't have a FACE for television!
Why didn't the skeleton eat anything at the barbeque?
Because he already had a full rack of ribs!
Why did the skeleton flunk out of school?
Because he was a real BONE head!
How do skeletons send mail?
By bone-y express!
Why wasn't anyone afraid of the skeleton?
Because he was acting out of scare-acter!
Why was the skeleton's bed so comfortable?
He had a memory-bone mattress!
How much do 1,000 skulls weigh?
A skele-TON!
What did the skeletons receive for a wedding gift?
Bone china!
What was the skeleton's favorite 80s cartoon?
The Scare Bears!
By this point you've either gotten at least one laugh out of this post, or you're regretting spending two minutes here.
Either way, here's Mr. Skeltal to play you out!
