turtle roller skates

Turtle Rollerskates Review | Shelltec

By ReviewHuntr | Reviewhuntr | 21 Apr 2021

Turtle Rollerskates Review. Despite the more than considerable diversity in pets and domestic animals, there seems to be an overall preference for certain animals. But the truth is that one might not be cooler than others. For example, dogs and cats have hoarded all the love and affection of humanity by selling a fake image of being the ideal companions for people, all due to movies with their species as main characters and other petty details such as being incredibly adorable.

No one appears to account for the other options when it comes to considering a possible animal friend. Other pets are often pointed as not so cute, not amusing or overly demanding, and those who say that are two things: mean and actually kind of right. Nevertheless, forget about the other animals: no one will say that your ugly tortoise is dull ever again, thanks to the fresh T-Rollers. T-Rollers are the new roller skates specially designed for turtles that come for different sizes and breeds. These brand new bad boys will turn your old fashioned lizard with a shell into a wheeled devil, making you the pure envy of any owner of those outdated dogs, no matter how many girls they can get.

T-Rollers are the new sensation in pet products, as its technology fits perfectly with a tortoise’s anatomy and allows them to travel faster than ever. Some scientists and inventors consider that the addition of some T-Rollers to one turtle is the closest humanity has been to creating a new species since Grimes.

This product has demonstrated that turtles worldwide have been hungry for speed, and they will not hold back on anything anymore. Thanks to these innovative rollers, it is now possible to take your dear tortoise for a walk: some people are even training their turtles to ride all across different skate parks, teaching them various tricks and stunts. Because of this phenomenon, a few organizations devoted to protecting animals stated their concerns towards the turtle’s safety, to which the owners replied just reminding that tortoises are born with a natural congenital shell that protects their whole body. Either way, in a true example of goodwill, the owners promised to stop hydrating their turtles with Red Bull, but stated that they would not stop playing Blink-182 at their stunt practices.

But there is always a negative side: apparently, many turtles wearing T-Rollers have been carried away by the temptation of having such unlimited power and accumulated energy. To the point that many organizations reported that the number of cockfights had decayed considerably, as the illegal street races of turtles wearing T-Rollers have gained popularity.

On the other hand, groups of anime enthusiasts have equipped young tortoises with T-Rollers and tried to teach them karate lessons, in an unsuccessful attempt to recreate scenes of the Teenage Ninja Turtles series.

But not everything is bad: as the T-Rollers began to sell quickly all over the country, the adoption of tortoises escalated significantly. Now one out of every twenty families owns a turtle and a set of their specialized roller skates. It has been discovered that these formerly slow reptiles make a lovely pet, but no one can explain why they insist on seeking and then choking with straws at any cost. After the meaningful success the T-Rollers had, Hasdog (a company dedicated to the elaboration of pet products and responsible for these rollers) organized a press conference headed by their General Manager, Leonard Splinter. Splinter declared to the press: “Everyone said that toys for pets were a business that would never generate profits and we just did it, the firsts signs of gain after 37 years. I must admit that we first tried with propellants for fishes, but they broke all of the fish tanks, and we had to buy new ones to our direct rivals. After that, our last try before the inevitable bankruptcy filing was the T-Rollers. Now we are doing well, but please everyone, stop putting the rollers in your babies’ hands and feet!” Later, Splinter finished the conference apologizing for being the first one to upload a video of his two-year-old son wearing T-Rollers.

The turtle-based business is currently at its best. Not only have the T-Rollers created a whole community for tortoise lovers, but now there is also a new entire market for them. Several car paint shops are now specializing in paint jobs over turtle’s shells. The demand for this service is so significant that Xzibit came back with a new TV show “Pimp My Turtle”. Where they also covered the T-Rollers with jewelry and added neon lights under the shell. The rating numbers of the show are so positive that rumors say that there are plans to include tortoises and the T-Rollers in the main plot of The Fast and The Furious 10. The future for our favorite chelonians is showing signs to be promising.

Verdict: Why keep trying to teach your turtle the old fashioned tricks as “sit”, “roll”, “bark”, when you can show it the way to become the jealousy of any dog that learned to stand on a skateboard? Get it some T-Rollers, and let’s find out how long it will take you to get bored with another pet!

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