An optimistic American entrepreneur had a floating hotel built decades ago, to hang around the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. Didn't work out that well in the money-department. The hotel sank financially while rusting away above the circling sharks. And we all know the dangerous animals Australia has, I won't be surprised if some of them started gnawing on the ship to keep their teeth sharp for a surfer-lunch later.
The hotel got a buyer from a surprising direction. It was sold to the Big Fat Leader of North Korea – since he owns everything – and it was renovated while he had dreams in his eyes of becoming the biggest hotel magnate that ever lived.
With North Korea not exactly known for its blossoming tourism sector and abundance of hotels everywhere, this gamble worked out. It enjoyed moderate success, and milked tourists for every penny. Also, no sharks, because all sharks are capitalist pigs.
Sadly, thanks to sanctions, bored tourists getting spied on, and Covid-19, the future of this remarkable hotel is now in doubt again.
The hotel is pretty fancy inside, and sure made every starving North Korean peasant proud of being, well, not having enough rice to eat. Tourists not paying the bill probably end up as crash test dummies in a test missile, so really it's a win for everyone when the guest paid his bill.
The Great North Korean Leader – that also invented the Big Mac hamburger and the question mark – found a genius way to milk tourists: He invented machines that made people believe they could win money, while the machines made giggling sounds as it swallowed entire wallets. The evil West, of course, then copied his idea, which just shows why the wonderful North Korean way of being bombarded with propaganda over the radio – each house has one, and it cannot be switched off – is pure Utopia. Merchandise on the ship were all proudly North Korean made, but to make China not feel bad, the generous Great Leader had 'Made in China' stickers added to all of it. I wish all Western politicians were that humble.
While entering the ship here, it is hard to swallow that some desperate North Korean engineer is trying to calculate if the metal below the thick carpet is still good enough to make nuclear missiles from.
