A strong sense of belonging is something we crave for as a species. We keep pushing to squeeze in patterns and routines, we keep trying to fill the gaps, but these small changes usually pile up and start taking a toll on you, feeling disconnected, constant dragging, emotional competitiveness, and it goes on.

This change catalyzes itself with these expectations building up in your head, which are in most cases empty and fruitless.

You don't want your change to go unnoticed yet you want it to be subtle, with continued practice of this routine you start to expect that it would push a change in others, but people seldom notice it, everyone marches to the beat of their own drum. 

You cannot even communicate this prospect of change because that would indirectly beat the purpose of you adapting to it in the first place, and you would feel like a fool, and no one likes that. The alternative is that you drench yourself in melancholy corresponding to the shenanigans of your predicament. You keep hanging in the balance often falling off on either side but fear of conflict keeps you from any possible form of catharsis.

But then, to each their own.