What am I doing in Mexico?
Right.
Of course.
I can't remember.
What am I doing in Mexico?
Leaving.
What else?
No matter where it is, you know it's time to go
when people get to know you.
It's a life of goodbyes,
Of the endless
Adios.
"Pack light," they said, as I lifted the tome, and held it like a great, literary piano above the precipice of books.
Life For The Observant Depressive, A Guidebook For The Abandoned & Unloved, it said.
The title was welded into the plate-metal cover.
The corners were sharp and merciless
Like a symbol of the world.
The book itself takes on different forms in different stages of life. It can be a 20-pound coloring book, 4000 pages of unfulfilled drawings sitting on the table in a waiting room,
Or a city map,
Or road atlas,
Or a marriage certificate,
Or a songbook...
The book itself changes, but the theme of Life For The Observant Depressive remains the same. It is the story of the endless adios, written for people who leave their comfort zone every time they open their eyes.
That's why we came to Brazil.
Or Mexico, whatever it is I can't
Remember.
Wherever it is, we are here
To pursue the halfhearted disinterests of the observant depressive.
We are searching for a home. A community.
A peer group.
And because we leave our comfort zone every time we open our eyes,
We never,
Ever find it.
Who are the ephemeral
Fugitives of peace?
Why shouldn't we romanticize our own crushing sense of unwanted abandonment?
How else to survive it?
The endless adios is not a commodity that lends itself to trading
On the Platitude Exchange,
The PEX,
The economy of comfortable belonging upon which conditional hellos
are crammed into an uncertain futures contract, an investment package which pays
dividends immediately,
whether the invested parties have a future together,
or not.
It's way too heady and numbers-based for the observant
depressive,
or anyone who appreciates
an honest goodbye.
So if you leave your comfort zone every time you open your eyes,
rejoice.
The adios is far from endless.
In fact it's almost over.
Happy dogs are at the door.
The age of hello
Is about to begin.
