“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”
Proverbs 16:18

I am an intelligence supremacist.  Intelligence supremacy isn't a hate group.  It's a contempt group.  Personally, I have real contempt for people who have judged me on racial lines since Obama, among other things.  It's stupid, prejudicial, patronizing behaviour.  But I don't hate them.  I have contempt for them.  Hate is for stupid people, or people who were never going to listen to or accept anyone who doesn't look or think like them.  Contempt has the force of reason behind it, which reason might be open-mindedness and respect having been proven to be wasted on people who don't return it.  Contempt is reasonable.

But it isn't righteous.

It's going to disrupt the flow of poems, music videos, and the like on my YouTube channel, but I might have to make a video prayer asking God for forgiveness.  Begging God for mercy, for anyone who still has enough conscience to be aware they need it.

It's far more important and fundamental than politics, and if I make the video, I will have to lead repentant people on the "opposing" side of the shallow kiddie pool of political differences in a prayer in which they ask God to forgive them for taking the blessing for granted.  The blessing of being rich enough to be able to choose their problems, for starters, and for being so smug and self-righteous that they didn't know they were throwing the entire foundation of an SOL (standard of living) that allows them to engage in spoiled whining in the first place, into a volcano of neverending hellfire.  They had it, the attention and respect of an entire civilization, and because they took it for granted that they would always be relevant, edgy, or even remotely cool, they threw it away.  So that now, they are none of those things, and are merely waiting for Proverbs 16:18 to play itself out.

Then again, I might not make the video.  This article might suffice.  I'm going to repent of my own contempt for self-righteous, hateful, prejudicial, and judgmental people on my own time, and if you have any conscience at all, and are aware of what kind of forgiveness YOU need for YOUR sins, which are YOUR business between you and God, you will do the same.  I suggest you join me in doing it right now.

So, if you have maligned and judged me for the color of my skin, or any other reason, I forgive you.  If you can't see that you're the reason people fled your party in droves, and if you continue to have malicious intent for people you're too self-righteous to shake hands with as a fellow sinner across the aisle of forgiveness, that's your problem.  I forgive you.  Not because you deserve it, but BECAUSE I DON'T, and I need to be forgiven myself, and to be forgiven I must forgive.  Forgiveness is like waking up from a nightmare.  IT WAS JUST A DREAM, you say to yourself with visceral relief.  I DON'T HAVE TO CARRY MY CONTEMPT FOR HATEFUL, ARROGANT PEOPLE AROUND ANYMORE, thank God.

If you won't repent, though, tread lightly.  Step up to the edge of the abyss with all the mortal terror it deserves.  Don't jump into it with your compadres.  Reconsider your options, and meet me on the shore of life.  I sincerely look forward to seeing you there, if not sooner.

Good luck.

Sanctimony is so flammable, its incendiary capacity exceeds the limits of the natural world.  Choke on the harshness of the message now, while there's still time.  But don't swallow it.  The people who swallow it are all going to hell.  It isn't sanctimonious for me to say so.  I have passed out at the gates of hell many times, and shudder to think how close I have been to the edge.  If you think it's sanctimonious on my part to say the sanctimonious are one involuntary heartbeat from an eternity of hellfire, I have to wonder what you're doing on this channel (this article is a compilation of posts I made on my YT channel this morning).  It isn't even a passing familiarity with the surface of my own work, that much is certain. 

Have you ever listened to my music?

I had to unsubscribe from Nick Cave's "Red Hand Files" because I got tired of many things, one of which I suspect is a genuine belief on his part that he can atone for his sins with art and faux-humanism.  I might be wrong, but I believe his late-period humanism is a subconscious attempt to atone for sins.  It means he hasn't committed the unpardonable sin, but reading his thoughts is like trying to read the menu in a restaurant 20 miles behind you, in a rearview mirror through 20 miles of dust.  It isn't worth the effort.

"One Girl at a Time" is a musical documentary about real events in my life, and was literally written at "Dead Horse Ranch" state park in Arizona, as the song says.  The reason I haven't dug it up and made a video of it is because of the line, "I'M HEADED FOR AN ETERNITY OF HELLFIRE."  Not only is it no longer true, but it's TOO HARSH to fit into a nice little gift box of video entertainment.  It hurts to listen to it.  As, I believe, it should.  If you're not ripping your guts out with brutal honesty with every song you write, but are presuming to be a songwriter, I don't know what you're doing.  Creating sonic lining for a casket, I suppose.  Well, it might be pretty.

But it isn't fireproof.

The only way to avoid the flames is to stop pretending they're not there.  Stop denying them.  I was still drunk and hung up on chicks when I wrote this.  I'm not better than you.  But get off the death raft now.

Good luck.

One Girl at a Time

I spent the night in Dead Horse
an appropriate location for you and me
except I'm here all alone
as it was always meant to be

Sitting under the junipers
thinking on my so-called crimes
I'm headed for an eternity of hellfire
one girl at a time

     One girl at a time
     too many, it seems
     disregard your feelings
     distrust your dreams

Throw away your broken heart
lose the habit of desire
I put my head in the lion's mouth
I burned my fingers in the fire

I sprinkled my brains like burning seeds
on the highway to hell
fires sprouted up like weeds
there's nothing more to tell

     One girl at a time
     too many, it seems
     disregard your feelings
     distrust your dreams

Kid, don't spill your guts to no one
don't wear your heart on your sleeve
but most of all, don't act surprised
when the time comes for you to leave

Now I'm breaking through a wall of sunshine
I'm leaving all my clouds behind
I learned my lesson the hard way
one girl at a time

     One girl at a time
     too many, it seems
     disregard your feelings
     distrust your dreams

     One girl at a time
     there's always room for one more
     I'm sure we'll meet again
     when love comes knockin' on our door

©2014 Nathan Payne