Here at Mexican Horse Shocks From The 19th Century, we offer shocks made by drunken, unskilled labor in the Mexican desert over 150 years ago, at a price you can afford.
At Mexican Horse Shocks From The 19th Century, you will marvel at the poor workmanship of our product. The outdated, archaic engineering will be an affront to your soft, modern sensibilities, and the piss-poor suspension will provide the least-comfortable, most miserable journey of your life.
The extreme discomfort you will experience while riding on Mexican Horse Shocks From The 19th Century will drive you to the edge of sanity itself, as your cat desperately tries to free himself from the rickety, uncomfortable conveyance as every pebble you hit sends shockwaves of pure existential detachment through the stack of broken rocks that used to be your spine. If by some miracle you actually reach your destination, your tired, furious expression will scream, "Mexican Horse Shocks From The 19th Century."
Thanks for the referral.
So, whether you're going on an odyssey into the perilous unknown, or merely across town to pick up some pain medication from the pharmacy, we at Mexican Horse Shocks From The 19th Century are fully aware you hate both us and our cheap, worthless product. Come down to the shop anytime, if you think you're man enough to settle the score.
We'll be waitin' forya.
