I read HappyBoy 's post and I didn't comment yet because I would love to give a lengthy post about it. Princessbusayo also shared the same thing with me via WhatsApp and I explained some things to her as well.
I understand the point HappyBoy and Princess were raising because let's face it, a parent can only do what they can do and other things influence a child daily which is out of the control of the parents. I shared an angle to this before now which is the part one of this title. He made valid points there so I am not posting this to say his view is wrong, never... I am only saying that some parents need to pick up some slacks as we cut others some slacks.
I am never in the dark that there would always be a child that would turn out the way he or she wants to turn out, especially when they are outside the influence of the parents but what I am saying is this, it starts with the little thing that most parents overlook. It's not about being hard on the child because some children are naturally rebellious but it's about nicking certain things in the bud because those little things go a long way. We might not understand the importance of that lifestyle but it helps a little.
I remember when I was younger, my dad would always tell us never to come back late into the house. He enforced it so much that till today, you will never see me outside that late and that lifestyle helped me too because I don't even drink either. Why I said I understand HappyBoy and Princess' reservation about blaming the parents solely is because we are three guys and this worked for myself and my immediate elder brother but till today, it didn't work for our eldest brother because he just loves being out at night but still, it shouldn't stop any parent from doing what needed to be done.
I had a girlfriend back then and even though they were tough on her, I mean her parents, they were giving free hands to her younger sister. This younger sister was in school, doing her Industrial Training and I am not exaggerating, every week she would come home with new bags and shoes and they were not even paying her for the IT. She would always tell them that her "boss" liked her so much and he is always buying those things for her. The parents kept quiet about it and didn't criticize her or at least, talk to her in any way. I know because my girlfriend then told me. She had her reservations too and she saw a lot of chats on her phone. She was even using two androids phones which the price of one alone can buy her dad and mum's phones combined.
It starts with those little things we won't nick in the bud. Yes, we can't entirely blame parents because whichever child would turn out terrible would still turn out terrible but that doesn't mean we can't enforce certain things. Parents can only try and this is why having a solid relationship with your child helps so your words can at least caution them once in a while when you are not there. In my language, there is one adage that says, "Your child doesn't work in a drycleaning house yet he or she keeps coming home with different clothes. You have seen the face of a thief and yet you are not arresting him."
Raising a child is not a child's play. It's not something we just do by bringing them to the world. This world is corrupt and in a terrible state, we are to guide them and do what we can do. The girl I cited in the first part of the link I shared about, I blamed the parents partially because I sent some videos to Princess so she could see the kind of chats and TikTok videos this girl they claimed is 10 was doing. She posted sultry videos and you want to tell me the parents have no right to restrict her from doing that? They would at least have an idea of how wild their daughter is and then help to reduce the damaging effect in the long run.
Close observation always helps. It doesn't mean you will change that child totally but at least, as a parent, you can see where you can come from to help that child. That's the argument I was putting forth because no one can truly change anyone but what we allow them on, goes a long way too, to determine how they would be shaped.
I also shared another video with Princess about some children, 5 of them - 2 girls and 3 boys that went to the hotel to ask for a room. They were turned away by the hotel admin for being a minor asking for a room. You can imagine what they wanted to do in that room. They even brought a Bluetooth speaker. They left home and no one asked where they went? Are they expected to be left all alone? It doesn't mean you can control their movements but when they are under your roof, there should be an oversight that should be provided.
I know a lot of parents are doing their best but trust me, we don't deserve a medal for doing our best because we know what we signed up for. It's okay to spoil them but it doesn't mean we have to always give them a free hand. Let's do our best and leave the rest to God but we don't have to overlook tiny details because they would soon become a habit in the long run.
This post also appeared here and it's my original work on my blog on [Read.Cash](https://read.cash/@Olasquare/its-with-those-little-things-ii-4a87c46e).
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love's chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor's order.