I often hear from young negotiators that their older colleagues bully them because they are stronger and more experienced. Women complain of disrespectful treatment from their opponents. If you are faced with underestimation from colleagues, pressure from superiors, or ridicule from partners, I will tell you how to deal with it.

"Blonde" syndrome

I don't want to offend anyone with blond hair. However, in our heterogeneous society, for some reason it is common to joke about them. True, the “witty ones” are most often narrow-minded themselves.

When I worked at a logistics company, the freight manager was a charming 25-year-old Anna, blonde with big blue eyes and long hair. Beautiful and smart with an angelic voice.

I can imagine how surprised those who know what it is to work in the cargo transportation industry are. This is difficult, cruel work even for a man. But my colleague has two higher technical educations, she is a candidate of sciences. In her work she showed herself to be a technically savvy specialist. She had an excellent understanding of complex practical issues and knew how to negotiate, but sometimes it was unbearably difficult for her in this area.

Anna interacted with different people, from bosses to drivers, and often encountered outright sexism. They looked at her as a “baby girl” and did not hide their disdain.

Don't hide, but use

Anna tried to give herself respectability with the help of external attributes. She carried a black briefcase with her, dressed in strict trouser suits, put on a man's tie, and almost men's shoes. Even her car was austere - a black sedan, which is what guys over 45 prefer to drive.

Despite her efforts, Anna could not do anything about the ill-mannered men and one day came into my office in tears. When I asked what happened, she burst into tears. She began to tell me that they looked at her like she was a fool and did not take her seriously. “But I’m smarter, more educated than them, I understand everything perfectly. Why do I have to prove every time that I’m not stupid?”

It’s not just fragile women who find themselves in such situations. Men who sell feminine products also face ridicule. No one is immune from the shamelessness of others.

I took A. Dumas’s favorite book from the shelf from the shelf and read to Anna an excerpt where Milady escapes from arrest. I paid special attention to Milady’s words: “Make your weakness into strength.” He told Anna that she shouldn’t hide her beauty and femininity. You need to use this and immediately attract attention. You know, when a person comes to a negotiation and says: “Is it okay that I stutter a little?”, he immediately relieves tension, eliminates guesswork and winking between opponents.

Anna took the book from me, and the next day I did not recognize her. She came to work, shining with beauty and femininity. She stopped wearing formal suits, men's ties, and gloomy briefcases. Over time, I even changed my car to a more feminine one. And she began to start negotiations with the words: “I hope that the fact that I am a woman will not prevent us from discussing difficult issues?” Confused opponents had no choice but to answer: “No.”