It feels bad when your heart wants to do something but your subconscious tells you that the whole world will laugh at you and blame you.

It's a bad feeling when you know something is right, you believe it wholeheartedly, but you know that everyone thinks differently.

And it’s the feeling of infinite unrest when you want to overcome these invasive emotions. Like the moment you stand in front of a strong high wave of the ocean, no other choice rather than closing your eyes and enduring the brutal fall of the water.

That day I had that wave rushing toward me or I was driving into it, either way, it was the collapse time. My legs were shaking and my heart was pounding like a sparrow. I was worried. I came out of the house with my bicycle but I did not ride it. I put on a motorcycle helmet that I had borrowed from a friend.

My whole being wanted me to ride the bike and move freely on the street.  I was full of the feeling of "Do not be afraid!", however, I could hear my heartbeats.

I decided to go to the "Women’s" Park. A kind of park being built for women and children in almost all cities of Iran and we had one here too. A park for women to freely run and walk, and no man was allowed.

The moment I got inside, I stepped on the pedal and it was like flying. The place was small and I had to go back and forth, turn around and around.

I did that for three days. I didn’t dare to ride in the streets  I would justify it and say to myself: “Let me do it slowly! Let me gain some experience first! Then I go to the street.

But the truth was that fear of people’s stare was the only fear that made me numb and powerless ...

I'm not saying I was the best cyclist in the world, however, I no longer had any excuse not to ride on the street.

I do not remember the moment when I finally put my fears aside. But I remember coming out of the park on my bike ... I looked around and suddenly decided to jump on it and a voice was in my head: The hell with people’s bitter looks…