I refuse to keep on using anti-anxiety medication. Bye-bye Tranxilium. I decided to go real and deal with my shit. As a side effect, I have a restless mind. One that can’t go to sleep at night.
What is stealing my sleep? Well, I keep on overthinking everything. I am about to split paths with what until today was my life.
Fighting for owning my life, for my freedom. Undoing and leaving behind what I built and once meant everything to me. Not settling for less.
During the day I think and feel I have already made up my mind, but at night my mind betrays me and questions every and each decision I made during the day.
This time I will quote songs’ lyrics to draw a parallel with what I feel at night.
Insomnia in Faithless words:
“Deep in the bosom of the gentle night
Is when I search for the light
Pick up my pen and start to write
I struggle, fight dark forces
In the clear moonlight
Without fear... insomnia
I can't get no sleep”
And as we talk, a new day has arrived. I have just cut my toenails off and I am getting ready to run. I know, I am trying to run away from myself.
Tonight I will try something new, I won’t drink alcohol and just before going to bed I will eat a pack of beef jerky. According to the experts, this might help:
“...eating a high-protein, low-fat bedtime snack may help keep blood sugar levels even throughout sleep and prevent waking up with ravenous hunger.”
Let’s see if tonight, I can sleep.
