You did it again! You’ve made a gaffe! Your cheeks are burning red because you are so ashamed. You don’t know what to say or how to behave. You are afraid of the eternal farewell with the offended person or are too ashamed to go out of your house if you did it in public.

As a master of gaffes, I had to cope with many such situations. Example: I was cheering up at the fire camp with a few newly met people. One of the girls had some pimples on her face. She was very happy and energetic. I wanted to ask her, how she can be so vivid after so many miles of walking. But when I was looking at her face, and a little bit tired, I swapped unintentionally words ‘’miles’’ for ‘’pimples’’ and didn’t finish the sentence. I was so ashamed, it was my tired brain, who was guilty. But it was said. My explanations made the situation worse.

So you can believe me now, that I got some expertise on this topic.

Here are some solutions, how to cope with such situations, where you are the guilty one. Follow these few steps instructions.

Step #1 Never leave it hanging in the air

The worse behavior is to pretend, that nothing happened. We are all humans and we make mistakes. If you won’t explain the situation, the offended person might think, that you did it on purpose. It will never be forgotten and you might lose a friend, would-be friend, or even get fired.

Step #2 Stop talking

Sometimes people try to chat up the situation and make it even worse. They follow the same no-return direction and get deeper and deeper into the mud of the gaffe. Don’t do it. Covering your ass with flourish sentences will not help. It will make an even worse impression. Stop talking. Take a deep breath. The silence will be tense but pause for a few seconds.

Step #3 Apologize immediately

Apologize immediately. It might not save all situations, but do not continue your previous speech direction. Say you are sorry if your words hurt the person.

Step #4 Acknowledge the situation

Start talking about your real intent behind the said words or behavior. Was it supposed to be a compliment, but something went wrong? Were you telling a ‘’funny story’’ just to spot, that it refers badly to your interlocutor? In this step you should be very careful, not to make the situation worse. It is better to admit, that you are clumsy with your words, and sometimes you say something which doesn’t illustrate well your intentions and speech goal.

Tell, how awkward it was said. And your intentions were different. Maybe this will help.

Step #5 Explain

Explain, what were your real intentions. You can tell, that you are a master of gaffes because you are a)shy b) an introvert, who goes into the social situation from his cave once a month c) you sometimes don’t know what to say and as a result says wrong things in the worse possible scenarios and so on.

Explain, that it wasn’t your purpose. You can add how much you like this person, and how much respect you got for her/him.

Step #6 Turn it into a joke

If this was something not offensive and didn’t hurt anyone, you can start joking — but better choose yourself as the subject of the joke . You can share your gaffes from the past but choose wisely.

Step #7 If the person is hurt

Offer an apology coffee in the cafe, or ask what can you do to get forgiveness — this is especially useful in relationships. Usually a vision of ‘’small bribe’’ cheers up the person.

I dare you to share your worse gaffe in the comments.