I remember growing up as a child before the electronics and virtual world took over. We went outside, we found our friends, and we PLAYED OUTSIDE until our curfew. When we became bored we used our imagination and invented new games. We got into trouble occasionally and we learned how to get out of it. And just as important we learned how to take our punishment and what having consequences for our actions meant. We learned how to take turns and how to share, and even learned the hard-knock lessons about bullying and tattletales and hurt feelings.
These days kids are involved in school and most activities even outside of school are adult supervised. Little Leagues, YMCA programs, school-sponsored sports are all directed and controlled by adults. Parents have more fear for their kids' safety and as a result, a child's opportunities to play and socialize in their own ways are limited.
Real-life social skills learning is just as important as classroom education. Since the decline in playtime over the generations there has been a rise in mental health issues in young people. Since the 1950s there has been an eight times frequency rate increase for anxiety disorders and major depression and the suicide rate for children under age 15 has quadrupled.
Children need friends, playmates, to develop and hone their social skills. Whether in a group or just one-on-one play they learn things that you don't learn in a school setting where every move is in a structured setting.
Two things become prevalent in kids who aren't allowed real social interaction with their peers. One is a decline in empathy, which is their ability to have feelings for another person's point of view and emotions. The counterpart to that is a rise in narcissism, which means an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of concerns for others.
To be happy and successful in life you need to know how to get along with others. Social playing is the ultimate environment for learning those skills. When kids play together, without the direction or interference of adults, the interaction is voluntary. Every child knows that the goal is to keep the game going and have fun. And they know that everyone has to keep having fun or the players will simply quit. So social play involves compromise and negotiations to keep everyone in the game.
Even a simple age-old game like hide-and-seek leads to these social negotiations. They have to decide the basics such as who is "it", what is "base", what is the time limit for the count-down, what are the boundaries. In school or other-directed settings, these kinds of decisions are made by adults. In play, the kids have to decide these things for themselves. They get to practice being the adult. If kids don't have the chance to learn and practice these skills for themselves they grow up with the expectation that someone else will make their decisions and solve their problems.
Playtime also fosters creativity. Even if a child is playing alone, there is a need for that time to dream and grow and expand their imagination.
Children that experience anger in play learn that to have others continue to play with them they must learn to control that anger. While parents are obligated to deal with tantrums, playmates won't - they will leave you writhing in the dirt and continue on without you.
In conclusion, the skills that children learn in social playtime are the same ones that are essential in grown-up life. In recent decades we have seen that the downtrend of playtime has had a detrimental effect on the mental health and happiness of our young people. I believe we need to encourage more social playtime and less self-centered virtual world activity.
