01 - 

A man meets one of his friends who is making a funeral.
- Did you lose someone?
- No, it's even the opposite, I'm going to be a father!
- And is that why you make such a face?
- Yes ... I don't know how to tell my wife ...

02 -

A little boy swallowed a mouse: On the phone the doctor said:

- Put a piece of cheese in front of its mouth, the mouse may be attracted.
The doctor arrives and sees the boy with a sardine in his mouth.

- But I told you to put cheese!
- Yes, but now it's the cat that must be taken out!

03 -

One guy says to another in a bar:
- You stupid! You are really stupid! It’s not possible what you are stupid! I've never seen such a jerk! Hey, it's simple, if there was a competition for idiots, you would finish second!
- Why second?
- Because you're too stupid to finish first!