I often find myself in a bad mood these days. People only seem to notice once it affects them and what's more, they never care about why. Too many times I've been told I'm just being 'emotional'. How could I not be?

What is the appropriate reaction when you've tried to reach out only for people to walk away? What do you do when people say they'll listen but when the time comes they always seem not to hear you even when you're right in front of them? When people expect you to save them while you're so busy drowning in your own problems?

It's just lip service when they promise to be there. 

I'm overwhelmed and almost nobody seems to understand. I'm doing my best and it feels like it's never good enough. For one person in particular, not only has she been lying about me to her friends on a regular basis, but she ran into two of mine the other day and did the same thing.

She tells people I don't do anything. I'm one person trying to keep a house with 3 adults and a 5 month old clean. I'm one person trying to keep up with the laundry and dishes while still caring for my children. She complains about my cooking because I use seasoning but she doesn't cook herself. I buy groceries and she eats or claims half of it but I'm not allowed to touch her stuff and still get accused even when I don't. 

Yesterday she told my friend to stop giving us things for the baby because we don't use them anyway which is a lie. She also told both of them that I'm throwing out her stuff without permission. I have never thrown out anything of hers. I won't even touch her end of the dining room table because I don't want to be accused. It makes no difference. 

I have bent over backwards for this woman and tried to be nice. I've gone out of my way to do things for her. She still lies and runs a constant smear campaign against me. I'm coming to terms with the fact that this will never change but it still wears me down. 

Now I have to wonder if I'm going to be left totally isolated because of her lies. I get blamed for things that don't even make sense. Just the other day she said the Rogers bill had been higher than usual because of a Netflix subscription. The internet is unlimited and her son pays for Netflix out of his own account. It has no effect on the Rogers bill at all. 

She also blames me for drinking her juice the other day but the bottle she drank was actually mine that her son bought me. Not hers but she claimed it and then told everyone I'm the selfish one who doesn't leave anything for anyone else. 

I could write a very long post about all the things she's done but what difference would it make? The truth is, I'm in a bad mood so often because I'm living in a constant state of negativity. Whenever I try to pull out of it, something pushes me back in. For months, anytime I finally truly relax (which isn't often) something comes along to ruin it. 

I just wish people could understand. I'm not like this through choice. Things weigh on me, constant stress and lies and personal attacks that I can't get away from have just left me drained. I've tried to ignore them but it's not easy when one claim from her could lead to me potentially losing my child. I've already heard her say she would love to call child services on us because she doesn't like that I refused to give a 2 month old cereal so I 'wouldn't have to feed him as often.' Two months is far too young.