(IJCH) Stupid me, I knew better. I choked on my sandwich while watching YouTube videos! (or How I wasted a perfectly good chicken sandwich!)
IJCH - Inside JaiChai's Head (Meaning: My Warped, Personal Opinions and Musings)
From the Author:
Salutations.
I am JaiChai.
And if I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you before, I'm delighted to make your acquaintance now.
I invite you to interact with everyone, learn, and have as much fun as possible!
For my returning online friends, "It's always great to see you again!"
Note to Self: Eating while viewing YouTube videos can be hazardous to your health!
Ignoring the widely held belief in the myth of Mama Cass's choking death (she actually died of a heart attack),
and contrary to recommendations from Clinical Dietitians, Emergency Health Professionals and of course, Ralph Nader,
I brazenly cheat death and eat - yes, even 5-inch, chicken sandwiches with lots of lettuce, tomatos (Oops, sorry. I meant "tomatoes". Damn you, Dan Quayle!), cheese, grilled onions, and oodles of artery clogging mayo while watching TV or online video content.
But the odds finally caught up with me and I found myself choking on my sandwich while watching the heretofore (Who the Hell uses the word "heretofore" anymore!? I guess only me, stupid me, no?) mentioned YouTube videos.
No worries.
I quickly self-administered the Heimlich Maneuver and dislodged the offending mix of chicken, lettuce, and cheese.
How did I do that, you say?
Unbeknownst to the general public, YOU CAN self-administer the Heimlich Maneuver.
See this video:
"How to Give Yourself the Heimlich Maneuver | First Aid Training"
Damnit! I wasted a perfectly good chicken sandwich!
In my haste to clear my trachea, I carelessly stood up, bumped the table, and spilled my Starbuck's - a double half caff with cinnamon and a shot of Rhum that I had to take out a second mortgage to afford - over my sandwich!
The end result was a Rhum soaked chicken sandwich sponge!
Shit! It's a 20 minute walk to the sandwich shop!
(Heavy Sigh)
Oh well, at least my dogs got a good buzz...
And just about the only thing funnier is when they're in my bedroom while I'm inhaling my vaporized medication from "Da Glaucoma Doctor, Mon"!
Parting Shot
Maybe I should switch to double grilled cheese hamburgers?
By JaiChai
Mighty Kind of You for stopping by.
Truly hope to see you again!
About the Author
Believing that school was too boring, he dropped out of High School early; only to earn an AA, BS and MBA in less than 4 years much later in life – while working full-time as a Navy/Marine Corps Medic.
In spite of a fear of heights and deep water, he performed high altitude, free-fall parachute jumps and hazardous diving ops in deep, open ocean water.
After 24 years of active duty, he retired in Asia.
Since then, he's been a full-time, single papa and actively pursuing his varied passions (Writing, Disruptive Technology, Computer Science and Cryptocurrency - plus more hobbies too boring or bizarre for most folk).
He lives on an island paradise with his teenage daughter, longtime girlfriend and three dogs.
