IJCH - Inside JaiChai's Head

(meaning: My warped, personal opinions and musings.)

From the Author

Salutations

I am JaiChai.

And if I haven't had the pleasure to make your acquaintance, it's very nice to meet you now.

Enforcing Public Restroom Etiquette and the Future Billionaire

Many years ago, I was hired to do a freelance writing job covering some kind of "Techie Symposium" being held in a ritzy hotel's conference room.

I didn't want to do it 'cause, at that time, I really wasn't into any of the topics on the Symposium's Schedule of Events, nor did I know any of the paid Speakers.

But I guy's got'ta eat, so I accepted the gig.

(Funny how trivial things like food and shelter are somewhat motivating, no?)

I arrived late and was suffering from the Mother of All Hangovers - Seriously, I woke up feeling like a camel was tap dancing on my head, then sh*tting down my throat - repeatedly!

Anyway, I figured I should "hit the head" - military-speak for going to the little boy's room - before what I predicted would be a mind-numbing, long sit-down; while some egghead or zealot was droning on and on about his tech religion or revolutionary algorithm.

There I was, standing at a urinal doing my business; when this young man walks zombie-like to the stall RIGHT BESIDE ME and begins to do his business too.

Without looking at him, I said (in my big boy, Marine voice), "Son, you're breaking the code!"

"Huh?" he said - as though I had snapped him out of a Voo-Doo trance.

"You broke the Man Code governing public restroom etiquette. Look around, buddy boy. There are at least half a dozen urinals here. We are the only patrons and you chose the urinal RIGHT BESIDE ME!" I scolded.

"When possible, the Man Code stipulates that there must be at least one separating urinal between one pissing man and another. What the Hell are you, a freakin' Bigfoot?" I preached, only 'till then did I realize I was taking out my physical misery on this poor, misguided soul.

Sheepishly, he said, "Oh. Really sorry, man. BTW, did you hear my presentation? I think I like, totally f*cked it up!"

I said, "I just got here. Sorry for my rudeness. I just partied way too much last night and am paying for it dearly as we speak. Good luck to you. BTW, I am JaiChai. I'd shake your hand, but..."

The young man learned quickly and left a separating sink between us while we were washing our hands.

After we both blew-dried our hands, he shook my hand and introduced himself.

A couple years later, I tweeted him with "Given the vacuum and temperature of space, are you building quantum computers up there?"

My teenage daughter was astonished that I knew this guy - and that he responded something like "keeping the Code".

Who was this guy?

The only thing I will devulge is that it rhymes with "Pee on a Tusk".

Imagine that?

By JaiChai

About the Author

He is a retired U.S. Military veteran. Believing that school was too boring, he dropped out of High School early; only to earn an AA, BS and MBA in less than 4 years much later in life – while working full-time as a Navy/Marine Corps Medic. In spite of a fear of heights and deep water, he freefall parachuted out of airplanes and performed diving ops in very deep, open ocean water.

He spends his days on an island paradise with his teenage daughter, longtime girlfriend and three dogs.